why

Just read a blog and found myself reaffirming that i will never allow anyone close to me again cos it hurts too much. Interested if anyone held this opinion and if they have moved on and how ??

Hi Gorgeous

I'm pretty much with you on this one. I don't have any intention of getting involved with anyone ever again.

Married twice, blimey that still sounds sureal, both times to controlling bullies. Thinking about it I've never actually lived on my own or without someone controlling me (I love my Mum very much but she was, and still is, a very controlling person).

I'm actually looking forward to being on my own for the first time and doing what I want, when I want. Bring it on.

Best wishes

Mad x

Yes, I think that there i nothing wrong with being on my own, as a matter of fact, I think it is the best option. My ex was extremely controling and manipulating and once I started rebelling against it and using my own mind, he could not stand, so started putting me down.
I can't wait when I will get my confidence and self-esteem back again and will live my life the way I want to, speak to who I want to speak, go where I want to go, wear what I like, watch TV programs without worrying if he approves etc.
Sounds fine to me.
I met quite a few women who got divorce a long time ago and they say they are much happier than in their unhappy marriage.

Hi Gorgeous. Its like this at 1st. 2 years ago I wouldnt even speak to a women. I would get in the lift and if asked "what floor" I wouldnt answer and just push the button myself. Now, one of my best mates is a women. I love her to bits she is great but we are just mates. But its not the same love as I have for say a partner or lover or wife. Its different.

Can I ever love again? Yes. Now that I am over it I can look back on my marriage and say what went wrong and what went right. My head was and still is very screwed up but now the fog has lifted I can see a lot clearer.

There is no magic recipe. Its just time and constant work on yrself that gets you over.

But this thing has changed me like no other. I thought when my mum and dad died it had changed me. Nope. This last 2.5 years have been like no other time in my life. I used to think I had seen it all. I was so wrong. I also thought that life would be hell on my own. Wrong again. Life is great. What I have learned is that the things I thought would happen didnt and visa versa.

I value myself and my self respect more and feeling of self worth is returning. I can say "NO" now. And if it dont feel right I just say no and walk away. That increases the feeling of being in control of my life. I am not out of the woods and I dont trust myself to be in a full relationship. I doubt if I ever want to have a full on relationship. I dont know if I can give all of myself to someome again. Life is too much fun right now. C