Ex moving to within 200 metres of me.....

Your questioning the situation on the basis that your ex has nothing better to do other than spy on you! Unless you have experience to back this assumption up i think you are being fairly paranoid.

That said i know what it is like to be a second wife and can understand your partners unease at the situation. However, she met you and had a child with you knowing you had children already and to use the word ''intrude'' is a bit inappropriate. She accepted your children as an extension to you and you should both welcome them at any and all opportunities. You were their father first. It took me a while to accept this with my stbxh and his daughter. His first wife was a complete dragon and we didnt agree with the way my step daughter was raised at all, but at the end of the day he was her dad before he was my partner and eventually my daughters dad and the sooner i stopped seeing her as a minor nuisance things ran a lot more smoothly.

Finally, you are potentially being put into a position that many parents on here would swap with you in a heartbeat. Yes your eldest son might pop over to cool down after an argument at home, your ex may ask you to babysit rather than get someone else in to do it with you being so close, yes you may be called upon a bit more. Is that really a problem? They are your children after all! People battle through the courts to see their children or to stop them moving miles away. It might be worth concentrating less on the negatives (if there are any) to the potential situation than the positives. At least you have an amicable relationship with your ex and new partners. Take this as an opportunity to be a more hands on dad!

Also, as a side note, this could be a fantastic opportunity for your youngest to get to know their elder siblings. My daughter is now limited to 6 hours a fortnight with her only sibling due to them having different mothers. As my only child i feel she misses out on quite a few things and even something as simple as a trip to the park can be quite mundane for her. Your youngest will now get the chance to grow up closer to their brothers and develop a good relationship with them in the future!

I am inclined to agree with jslgb about the opportunities.

However, from my considerable experience, I would say that if you can see each other''s houses that is too close. That said, if it is the only possibility for her in your village, then I would do my best to welcome it. If there are other places they could live locally, then it might be worth pointing out that if she takes this house you will both be able to see each other''s comings and goings and she might not want that any more than you do.

Best wishes,
Sadie

All points understood, and agreed with mostly. It''s probably just a concern at the moment. My partner has an 8 year old that lives with us who is severly disabled. This does present its own problems from time to time. We have to bear that in mind. Anyway in the last hour my ex''s mother has called basically saying they do not have the deposit to put down on the house around the corner. Can I pay it? I paid her original deposit.... And dont have the money needed at the moment. If I cant get it they will probably have to move down with her 200 miles away. Fed up with this. Everything has been fine for the last3 1/2 years....