He says he's going to divorce me now!

Hi

Things have been very fraught in conversations over the phone during the last week between husband and myself mainly due to the fact that whilst he has been in China he has run up £3000 on a credit card which he says is company business but they have only paid £1000 in expenses so far so I am refusing to pay it from our savings until I have evidence that it was not spent on the other woman during his three month affair. Don't think that's unreasonable - he says he is not having me controlling him with money anymore! I am fairly careful and like to have bills etc paid - he likes to spend and worry about paying later.

He has now said he has contacted a solicitor in the UK and is divorcing me on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour! Could he do this from China? Would he not need documentation such as marriage certificate etc. I am confused - although I have contacted a solicitor and have obviously thought about divorce I had no intention of doing anything until nearer the time of his return to the UK (December). Is he likely to be bluffing or could he does this from where he is do you think?

Just want to be prepared.


Linda

X

Hi Linda

Not an expert but when I saw a solicitor recently she told me that in order for her to start proceedings she would need to see either a photo ID driver's licence or a passport to confirm my identity. So for what it's worth I think he's bluffing.

How's your little boy doing?

Mad x

Hi Mad

That was my initial reaction and he is supposedly having a conference call with the solicitor this week and said I will have a letter in the post next week - how can he divorce me on unreasonable behaviour when he has had an affair?

Thank you for asking after my son - he is seeing a school nurse who is a counsellor and who I know from work - she is very kindly coming to my house tomorrow to talk to me and him (I haven't told him yet - do you think I should?) I know he's not going to like the idea at all but am at a loss as to what else to do.

Hope things are better with you


Linda

X

Linda, he would need a marriage certificate or a certified copy to issue the proceedings. THat can be obtained online and takes about 5 days to get it. I think it is unlikely that he could strt the ball rolling from there so easily. How can he sign the petition, for example?

If you think he is serious, get in there first. You control the process and can stop it at any time. Costs would be around 350 court fees, plus whatever you want to pay a aolicitor to do the petition. You coudl do your own if you wanted. It is really up to you.

Mike

Linda

I wouldnt be surprised if he was throwing his toys out and threatening this due to you not paying off the debt x

It must be so difficult knowing what to say to children in this situation; what's right for one child may be totally wrong for another. I'm sure whatever you decide will be for the best. Are you able to ask the counsellor for her advice? Never dismiss your instincts, they are usually right.

I'm doing ok, surprisingly so. I'm usually such a worrier, but feel really calm at the moment. You were right when you asked the other day if I would really want this man to be the father of my children. The easy answer was no, absolutely not. It really did clarify things a lot for me. I'm not kidding myself that I won't have bad days, but I'm really starting to look forward to my new life. Thank you.

I wish I could give you words of wisdom but I don't have any I'm afraid. All children really need is love and lots of it. This your children have in abundance from you, they will be ok.

Mad x