Well, thats it, its crunch time.

Hiya Guys.
Well, its been an "unusual" day for me, i just asked my gorgeous wife to push ahead with the divorce i've been threatened with for the past 4 weeks. I've been clean, well rested and sober for 4 weeks now and i just cant live in limbo anymore, i need to know where i stand.
Part of me desperatly wants this, another part of me prays its all a bad dream.
It seems, all i've ever done for her, the sicknesses, the financial problems, the emotional ups and downs, the good the bad the ugly have been wiped away by her and her obsession with her "new me, new life".
I wish as i said in other posts that i could wipe away my indiscressions and start again, but it seems pretty clear, that aint gonna happen.
Funny thing is, the only time i've heard or seen her cry is when i reminded her that during a divorce, past indiscressions of both partys come out in the wash, and for hers, she could be looking at a short stint in prison.....{not saying what} And that is whats kinda made my mind up.
All the times i have been there for her, nurtured her, helped her grow into the strong determined woman she is today are now forgotten, all she cares about is self preservaition.
I was no saint, as you all know, but i did hope that if she could see i was clean, dry and sober, notice my attitude change and the fact i took councilling and went to relate.....{alone} things might change, but clearly they have'nt.
Shes agreed to a divorce, through crocodile tears, and i know shes only trying to save herself.............And i suppose, the love i have for her will let her go her own way in peace.....But maybe not ehh?
I've been good, patient and kind, but to her and her family im a monster, she says she's outgrown me, in my mind, shes become bored, as have i of her constant whining, bellyaching and childish attitude towards finance, lifestyle and atitude.
All i know is in this life, what goes around, comes around.......I've had mine for the past four years and have now had enuff, maybe its time she had a taste.
Im gonna s*d off now and lick my wounds for a while......... But i'll be back.

Take good care.
M x

matt...things certainly have come to the crunch, hope that you are ok. It needed doing and well done as like you say there is nothing worse than being in limbo. Have a good day...from here things can only get better...lets hope so anyway.

Take care

Saff

I feel like scum........ Yesterday i sank about as low as a man could go............ Very dark days ahead. Christ im so sorry.

Matt/24/7 wrote: Yesterday i sank about as low as a man could go............ [/quote]

In that case Matt, there's only one direction you can go from here - upwards. I'm sure you've heard this before, but sometimes you've got to hit rock bottom before you can start to build your self up again.

Like somebody else wrote here recently, you are being tested now, and it's up to you to rise up to the challenge and to sort things out as best you can, for you and those around you

Chin up buddy

Sun

Thank you Sun
I've followed quite a few of your posts and always wanted to ask you how you managed to turn out as well rounded as you are considering how you were treat. wot you just said will give me strength to try and turn this cr*p situaition around.

Thank you
M

Aw thanks Matt

I just think a positive or negative attitude can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've been very down during the last few months, but I couldn't let myself belive that things will always be like this, or that I will always feel like I have, because then there's a very real danger that I will.

And by deliberately making some things in my life change and trying to take control of a life that had started to be controlled by somebody else's actions I did gradually feel better, more positive about the future and more in charge of my own life and emotions. It's not as easy to do as it is to write, and it took some time to even decide to do this. I remember sitting on my own in my kitchen, in my empty house, and feeling so sh!t, so hurt and so let down, betrayed, abandoned, etc that I just burst into tears. While I was crying I just had an image of what I must look like - sad, pathetic and defeated. I think that was when I resolved to pull myself up and try to sort things out. I'm also very lucky to have the friends I have and I've found wiki an incredible source of strength and focus

There is a brighter future out there Matt, because things will not stay the same as they are now. They never do

Matt,

Life is complicated in so many ways, but there is one thing that is simple and always true, life is about choices.

You have made a choice to do something about your situation, clean up your act and sort out your relationship, good for you.

It's going to be hard, but keep this in mind, the choice to do nothing is the easiest one to make but the hardest one to live with.

Good luck

GM