Why?

We had a blazing row a week ago (one of many) and I walked out. I came back 5 days later, to find that he had left leaving a note for me to cancel the holiday we had booked as it would be "a waste of money".
I dont know where he is (although I have made many assumptions) and there has been no contact between us AT ALL. He started the row and his agression makes me sick (witnessed by both my daughter and his)so I think it was understandable I wanted to remove myself and my daughter from risk of it turning violent.

But what I'm so hurt and saddened about is - that's it, no contact, no apology, no taking responsibility for his actions - Nothing! Unpredictable mood swings have featured heavily since we married. I know I am staring into the face of divorce number 2 and we have only been married 10 months. I waited 16 years before re-marrying and to find myself in this predicamanet after 10 months is horrible and I feel such a fool at 48, making yet another BIG mistake.

I think he is abroad with his 22 year old daughter and they have always been close to the point of my feeling very pushed out and uncomfortable around them. Of course the daughter will be put to one side when a new girlie comes along, but in the meantime I feel lost. Cant plan,no money as I'm a housewife (what he wanted) and he paid for everything with evrything in his name, dont know what to do - any ideas pleeease??????

I also remarried at 48; (after eight years divorced) I could have written your post. (One child each; my son, his daughter) His house.

Firstly: If you don't have anywhere else to be housed - STAY PUT! If your name is not on the Deeds; (assuming he owns it?) it is still your marital home, and if you are legally wed; then you can register your matrimonial home Rights either on-line (through various companies offering the service for around £40) or directly through the Land Registry website; or through a solicitor (which set me back £500!)

It's now a year since my ex asked for divorce; and I'm still asking "why"! I doubt I'll ever have the answerr because like your husband I had the no contact; no apology, no explanation thing.

Whilst I also felt humiliated at the prospect of Divorce No: 2 - my friends have been incredibly supportive; and recognise HIS FAILINGS AT BEING THE MARRYING SORT....

You can slowly get some good sound advice here; but regardless of whose 'fault' the breakdown is due to; you don't need to feel foolish.
My son is 19; and at 48 I found myself walking into a registry office in a beautiful gown, on my sons arm; and having my lifelong friends witness this beautiful union; only to be told six months later it meant jack-sh*t NOTHING to him... yeah; that's humiliating,and the ensuing months stung. At Xmas the cards (to both of us) said "when you visit - bring your wedding photos") ... but we never have the other persons agenda... and it took months to even admit to true friends that it was over.

Keep your head up for your daughters sake. Don't allow those 10 months to cloud the other 47 years of your life.

Sera
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Sera
Thank you so much for your kind words - it means a great deal. I am very nervous at the moment - just looking to the future is quite scary - as many people on this site have expressed.
when reading about your experience, I still find it hard to believe that a person can change so much in 6/10 months. But I know it is true - why marry in the first place - I dont get it? My daughter is so upset for me, in as much as she was so happy for me when we married - I'm sure your son feels the same for you. Strange???
You are right though - I intend to stick it out as long as I can in the family home and not be pushed out.
Thank you again for your support.
M x

Some men want their cake; and want to eat it! My husband pursued me BIG TIME! (Thought I was the best thing in the wholse wide world) Left saying he still loved me. (Bollox; they say that to keep us hanging on) If he loved me - he wouldn't have acted the way he did. He's simply not the marrying type. He's a player; but looking for all the home comforts of a nice girl at home.
He married the nice girl (me) then ran off with the trollops he needs to massage his rediculous ego.

Good luck to 'em!

One day; you'll wake up and things will be easier. Not easy when you're a new bride. I haven't even seen my wedding certificate! I signed it, my groom put it in his jacket pocker; the best man put it with our wedding cards; and within six months; he delivered it to his solicitors.

Since he couldn't legally apply for divorce for six months; (you have to wait a year from the date of marriage) I asked for it back on compassionate grounds, (with a proimise to return it) They flatly refused. Because they can.
Since that day nothing has made sense (one YEAR tomorrow: 21st July 2008) In court last week; he looked stooped; sad and a total dishevelled wreck!

I wondered what I'd ever seen in him, he simply wasn't the same man I'd married: they say Love is Blind!

He's a sad **** and my friends assure me I was too good for him, and I'm better off without him. His friends (who have asked me out say the same thing). He's dug his own grave, pressed his own self-destruct button.

My relationship with my son is as intact as it was. (No kids like to see their mothers upset) I now concentrate on the people that value me, my real friends. At 49 I was asked out by a gorgeous 27 yr-old; and it was great to see that there are opportunities, new life, and new men out there that appreciate a good woman.

I trust when you're through the pain; you'll have a brighter future.
Stay here and post... lots of good advice!
Sera
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