OW to meet my children

STBX rings me tonight (he never rings so caught totally off guard) and announces that he is going to introduce the OW to our two children. This is the OW that he didnt sleep with in that £400 a night hotel and the OW that he wasn't having a relationship with until after he left!Why does he ring me to TELL me that this was going to happen? He did say he was not asking but telling. I guess he feels now that he has been a nice guy and can once again justify his hideousness. Why does he get to come off the phone and feel smug whilst I have spent the last two hours crying over how unjust life can be.

I don't know why after 18 months and knowing that this day would come that I feel so miserable about it. I think it's because i want him to be miserable after causing such havoc rather than playing happy families with his very young GF and my precious children.

How old are the children ? have they said anything about wanting to meet her as us adults i think at times over look what the children would like.

Ah, Adele

I can feel the anger in me already, a similar post came up recently, I am finding it difficult not to say things that may get me evicted, if its not bad enough sleeping with oh, they try to get their vile grubby hands on our children, then i think in their sick little heads, they think they are accepted!! My oh's thick bitch smiles at my son, offering help if they need it, BABYSIT MY GRANDSON!! If only they knew what is said when they go. God she is rough mum, he says.

At least mine are grown with families of their own, and when they are this age. they can see their father for what he is.

A FRIGGIN A******E

Nothing i say can make you feel better, but my god do i feel for you

Joy xx

wow Joy. You needed to get that off your chest.

It is strange that I have read a few posts about this and seen advice on when it's the right time etc. I think Angel is probably right. Do the children want to see her.

My ex wants to reintroduce ow to grandson. He has lied all along about her until absolute and finances sorted. Now social services say it is ok for him to do so as she will also be part of his life he needs to meet her. SS and the good sense of many are at complete odds.

I don't knwo the answers but like Joy I don't want a mad woman with a criminal record near my grandson who has endured enough in his short life

PS But I will listen to Angel

My children are 8 and 5. They have heard mention of their dads GF and I think they are curious to meet her. After all he gives up so much time with them to be with her. He recently went away on holiday with her but won't be taking his children away- no money, no holiday allowance left- when he came back from holiday (they found out he had gone when they tried to ring him) they asked him where he had been and who with. I t was then that he admitted he had the GF and suggested they meet her. They don't seem phased about it atall, so how can I object? They already feel totally disenfranchised from his life and I think in their minds if they meet her, they might get to spend more time with him/get more involved in his life/ satisfy their curiosity. Of course thay are young and adaptable, I m old and tired and miserable and broken hearted -oh and did I mention lonely and bitter?

Why do they get to play happy families and enjoy life while the sheen has disappeared from mine.

I wish I could stop it from happening but I can't and it may help the children to piece together things in their minds, but god it hurts.....

Sorry Adele

Not a very good person to give advice when they are so young,
I suppose when they are young, they accept things more readily, because they dont understand how things really are. And you rightly have to consider their feelings. But my daughter, well in her 20s, was so close to her father, she totally idolised him. They did so much together, and he lied, and promised he wasnt seeing anyone, then when he was found out she was devastated. She says it is like he has died, So, yes i am bitter that he ripped my life apart, i see him as a sad old man, but all those promises he made to her! She cant bear to look at him, and when they do speak she says he is now like a stranger. This is why i am so aggressive on this subject. My daughter has lost her dad, and she will NEVER get him back.

You will do what is right

Joy:(