Question about relationships after separation...

I read on the boards recently of someone who is separated but who'd been stuffed up because they'd had a sexual relationship. I think the line was that they were still officially married, and they were then taken by their ex's on grounds of adultery, despite there being no hint of this prior to separation.

My situation is that we're in the early stages of separation, with no blame either side, and just waiting for stbx to get a house, move out, and starting our separate lives. We've agreed amicably on shared custody of the kids (no PWC or NRP - planning claiming CB & WFTC for one child each), and almost reached agreement on finances, furniture, belongings, etc.

Meanwhile, a mutual single female friend has expressed an interest in a fun no-strings physical arrangement with me! Ever wary of motives, etc. I've been keeping her going because I want to find out if it's genuine, or a ploy dreamed up between her & my stbx.

So to the question: Would adultery, or the hint of, turn a no-blame case into one which could jeopardise the amicable agreements we've already made together? Would it, for instance, give her the right to have the lions share of the custody, or higher financial split?

Just in case it makes any difference we're in Scotland, and are planning on having our agreement, once finalised, turned into a legal document - hopefully our only outlay on sol's.

Thanks in advance.

SB

Just don't go there.


Incase you didn't get that


Just don't go there.


Just don't go there.


Just don't go there.


Just don't go there.


Just don't go there.


Only my opinion so someone else may think differently !

Can't comment on the morals/emotions/amiability etc, but it may upset your stbx, so she then becomes less amiable and reneges on what she has agreed before you've anything confirmed legally; however, as far as the law is concerned such a relationship wouldn't have an effect on a courts decisions about your finances.

Does that help?

If you want my opinion - its much too soon at this stage for this sort of relationship; its one complication too many and you would end up regretting it.

HI ScotBob

mmmmm - I would be wary of your friend's "offer" - as you say, it may be a ploy............

As far as the Separation Agreement goes, its not about what's morally right or wrong, only whats legally right, and no, she wouldnt have a legal right to claim a higher share than what you have already agreed.. However, she may make things awkward for you if she finds out about this friendship before signing the SA.

If you are concerend about the effects of such a "friendship" on your current agreements with your x2b, wait until the SA is signed - if you feel that this is a friendship you wish to persue.

Hope this helps

Ruby

I would get your div over 1st as having a relationship whilst you are still married is sure to inflame your stbx. It could be a trap. In fact it probably is. There is not advantage in offering no strings on her part. There is no such thing as a free lunch. C

Thanks for answering the query on the legalities.

The truth is I wouldn't go there anyway as she's not my type and I don't want to stuff up the friendship with either of them.

Now who mentioned free lunch LOL - that's the real way to my heart...

I happened upon a new relationship, whilst separated from my ex-wife pending absolute. It had no effect on case as UK divorce entirely based on a non-fault basis.

However, I think that my head and heart made a misjudgement entering into a relationship so soon which has been bourne out to be true as that relationship is now over..

You can't help when you meet the right person but if she is the right one she will wait for you..

Mike