am i a mug?

After 24yrs of marriage i am in the middle of a divorce, we split up 3yrs ago.
a year ago i met someone else and i honestly wasn't looking for a relationship but we just hit it off so to speak he was everything i wanted.
Certain things are bothering me now though and i'm thinking am i a mug?
He got divorced 13yrs ago when she left him with their 2 kids to move in with another man, he remained in FMH and brought kids up for 6yrs, she then moved back in saying she wanted to try again but he say's within 4 months it was obvious it wouldn't work but they remained in seperate bedrooms in fmh with him still paying mortgage(joint names)and all bills.
He then met someone and after 8wks they got married and he moved in with her leaving 1st wife in house, after 6 wks he split with 2nd wife and returned to fmh.
Problem is that he now still lives in fmh with 1st wife and still pays everything although they have seperate bedrooms they obviously share everything else, i have been to his house twice in a year and have never met her but have met his kids and some of his friends so don't think i am a secret. i have now started kicking up a fuss as he spends all his free time at my house and he moans about how skint he is because of her!!His house is now up for sale but i don't think she will sell when it comes to it as she lives there for free.
He say's he wants to marry me when my divorce is through but having doubts now whats he playing at?

I think you need to tread very carefully, it's a minefield out there.
there are lots of questions you have asked which you need proper answers to. I know of several people who continue to live in the marital home with spouse because for whatever reasons (valid to them) that's how it has worked out. You clearly don't feel comfortable with what's happening, so be wary, keep a clear head and don't rush into anything.

I am 5 weeks down the road of finding out husband of 25 years having affair, very raw and incredibly hurt, knowing that only time will heal the pain. maybe not the best person to give advice to anyone else, but that's how it seems to me.
good luck,
Hannah X

oh!!i think you need to really give this alot of thought. I'm in the process of divorcing a man who was all over the place and sounds a bit like the man in your life.

keep you as the number one priority and go with your gut instinct. I learnt the hard way and never intend to repeat the same mistake.

Good luck
Mirfield

Hi

8wks married, 6 wks split? Mmmnnn. not sure what to say. think long and hard.

good luck Joy xx

be very very carefull. That guy sounds like bad news for a vulnerable woman

Hi froofroo
I sorry but I agree wth everyone else somethings not right I would stay well clear.

Regards

thanks for all replys
makes me wonder if he is divorced from her because i told him i didn't believe some of what he is telling me and asked him for proof
i know that seems awful but we all know on this site that your trust goes out of the window!!
i said that she should be paying half of mortgage
low and behold few days later he say's he is only going to pay his half from now on and told his mortgage co. to get other half from her
think he is telling me what i want to hear
so told him i want to see decree abs, proof of half mortgage and a solicitors letter (cos i don't think he has been, and if he has well his sol is talking c-ap!!)
guess what-- said he went to the county court for a copy of decree abs, but couldn't get it cos they shut for lunch, and so he paid to have it posted to him,
asked him how much he paid and he said £10
well now i know this is a lie cos its £40 and they don't close for lunch cos i rang and checked
so whats the bet that at wkend when he is over and meant to be bringing his proof that the decree abs has got lost in post or they forgot to send it to him??
so my decision is to say don't come back till you can be honest and show me some proof and admit you are lying
wish me luck x