when do you say enough is enough/

Dont know if this will help you decide, but as with hadenoughnow's post above, I have lived with a manipulating liar for quite some time. I thought that I had enough love to keep us together, despite the fact that he told me that he did not want to be my husband anymore and had met someone who made him "so happy" and they wanted to be reagrded as being "partners". It took me counselling sessions to start to believe in myself again and to find the real me that he had managed to suppress. Once I started to believe in myself and to like me for me again I found that my life changed and people too started to tell me that I had a sudden "glow" about me and that I looked happy. I realised too the strain that he puts all of us under and I am now gaining the strength to finally say enough is enough.
I must also say that these kind Wiki Peeps helped me also to keep focused and to remain on track.
GKx

Thanks GK.
He hasn't met anyone else, but has told me time and time again I'd be better off without him and that I should meet the man of my dreams.
I'm having counselling and still going relate on my own and trying to gain strength.
Thanks for your insight and sharing your experience xScared

Where is he getting his credit from? May be a bit obvious but can't you threaten him and say you will leave him unless he hands over all cards, banks etc to you? Also, get his parents on your side too. A bit of motherly nagging could work wonders!

Thanks for that Mcnaughty.Been there,done that,unfortunately!When he initially built up massive debt and then I cleared it from compensation payment,he was barred from getting further credit.Unfortunately,there was some comp left and he has been spending that and I'm worried he'll finish spending the half he's grabbed! I'm seeing sol tomorr to c what my rights r and I have spoken to his parents but they have been assisting him by allowing stuff to b delivered there and he's even been using his mum's name and she knew! Think a case that they think sun shines out him regardless, but in long run it won't help him, but I can't do anymore.
I'll update with sol outcome tomorrow on here.
Thanks

been rubbish few days hence no update.
Solicitor good on fri, saw me for hour and half in free half hour session, so felt grateful for that.
Her basic advice was try do things amicably to start with,rather than waste more money on legal bills.She starting proceedings on grounds unreasonable behaviour and putting us forward for mediation asap.
Tried to tell all this to ex,he said don't want to talk to u about it sun, now says he does.
Solicitor says I should try and hold on to house nothing selling at mo.
Feel a lot in limbo really,more so than before saw her,so spent yest in bed (see separate blog).
Anyway we'll c what happens if we talk.

Thanks all x

scaredandupset,
Rome wasn't built in a day. If staying in bed all day is the answer for that day, well what the hell? You opened the curtains today - Yippeee - well done you! But tomorrow you might not feel like it again . That is the rollercoaster of this horrible situation.

He has to come to terms with some pretty harsh realities. Typically, men don't see things coming in the same way as women do. We don't do 'subtle'. It takes a frying pan in the face, tom and jerry style to wake us up.

But what do you want in all of this? Do you want a life of looking over your shoulder for the next deception? Do you want to live life on tenterhooks? Of course you don't.

If he is worth it, leave him and let him come find you and prove his worth. But make him really prove it over an extended period,l with conditions attached. You are worth a damned site more than being a childminder that pays dearly for the privelidge.

I am afraid that you will be bamboozled and seriously hurt if you let things continue. His abililty to translate his appalling deceit and manipulation into some kind of shortcoming by you is totally reprehensible. But do you really believe in your heart of hearts that he would change?

Don't set yourself up for a fall - please. Thinking of you.

Mike

I spent 2 years trying to help my husband with his 'depression' and threats to kill himself. He manipulated me like hell.
Sometimes you just need to save yourself and a lot of my emotional pain now is having to come to terms with wasting so much of my own life on this idiot.

Mirfield