Mans point of view please

Agreed Jaymdee, but surely there is benefit in us all recognising the point that Marshy made very well in this post. Not all separated people are ready to become truly emotionally invested in a relationship mid divorce.

I know some people can move on into another relationship befoire being finally divorced and others cant. Personally, I can not even think about dating until the divorce business is over, but thats just me.

I dont think MM is saying that people dont have a right to move on with their lives until they are divorced. But with such an acrimonious situation, sometimes the marriage is replaced by the battle. This surely presents more risk to a growing new relationship and the point that MM makes is to beware of becoming entangled in a battle that is not actually one of the gf making. I think it is a valid observation.

It is at best naive to think that moving forward with someone who is not really in a good place to do so, will be without additional complications.

If you don't like heat, then why go in the kitchen?

I am in the situation that this post is about, don't really want Tobermory, but I am.
What marshy says is very right, he should have a career change..lol
From my point of view, this is about two people that are different, I have thought about things a lot over the past couple of weeks and there is no solution, I don't want my partner to change because I know it wouldn't be her and it would only be short term, I am who I am, end of, my kids have to come first and they dont fit into her life or expectants.
I am hoping to remain amicable and be friends after, which sounds a cliche, but, what I think is importent is that I know this relationship isn't going to work so I would rather end it whilst there is respect rather than hate and bitterness.

Thats he's used you to get through a hard part of his life and now feels more confident about himself he's adjusting his expectations about the future. He wants to male it easy on you so staying friends will soften the blow. My point of view ? He's a user so bin him. Is it worth waiting ? Million dollar question but turn it on its head. Your switched on, generous and have emotional intellect, why wait for this guy...staying friends? Does that really work with people you've loved..I doubt it..