help

no been on for a while , so here's an update...she says she loves me, best friend, all that, but not in love with me.....too many years of not talking to each other....both at fault..however we are still in the same house, same bed, but it's hard..went to marriage guidance together so it's a start..when in company we laugh an joke like before but when alone together it's just no the same...am bending over backwards an i feel she is doing nothing..am i flogging a dead horse??? i just don't know. only time will tell...but if it goes the wrong way i know for a fact it will destroy me..not in the phyical sence but the mental way i will be a broken man!!!!

All I can say is hope for the best, but prepare for the worst...

Dave,
FFs don't pay out for a new car or do any major house improvements.That's another classic that women who are having affairs pull before they ditch their husbands.
All the best
Pete

My ex had various different types of affairs before finally going the full way with a physical affair. He would text sex women from his sports club. Other women would be the emotional affair or a quick kiss but it didn't mean anything- yea right. He finally started a physical affair with someone and then walked out 3 months later.

I didn't know any of this at the time, but lived through 2 years of the hell you are describing before he walked. Its only with the benefit of hindsight that I have peiced it all together.

Some classic signs are: I love you but am not in love with you. Or I just need some space. Or lets have some time apart and it will make us stronger. The eggshells you are walking on, and the split personality ( nasty to you in private and happy to you in public) are all classic too.

Ultimately you have to decide what's right for you. Can you forgive? Its a long long road and not all marriages are strong enough to survive. What's interesting is that you are here on a divorce forum. Have you already made that choice?

We all become different people as we journey through life: husband, dad, boss, son...but who are you? What do you want from life?

I have to say that if its gone this far, then its doomed. Problem that many face that have this happen is that they live a yo - yo existance. Where the other party has an affair, is forgiven and has another one. And so on and so forth. And where does this leave you? In 6 months or a year you will be back here. Trying to figure it all out.

I have accidently dated married women before and its a classic come on to send pics in underwhere. Its a sure sign that they are married. I didnt know this at the time of course.

Bottom line... He probably isnt the 1st. She probably has a set of pics that she uses for this purpose. Sorry. I know this is going to hurt. But there is no nice way of saying it. Its over. And the best thing you can do is try and negotiate a way out of the marriage. Start afreash. Eventualy with someone that wont do this to you. C.