Experience of the Mediator

Hi Folks,

I receive my Decree Nisi today and start mediation soon. I suggested mediation to resolve the financials and my ex agreed - her solicitor has proposed 3 mediators.

All 3 are solicitors, 2 of them have 25 years experience in mediation and one about 10 years. I am thinking of going for the most experienced mediator of the 3. Obviously the more experienced mediators are more expensive!

I know nothing is guaranteed but my thinking is that having a very experienced and effective mediator might increase the chances of reaching agreement through the process.

Does anyone have an opinion on the experience/effectiveness of the actual mediator? Did having an experienced vs. inexperienced mediator help?

Thanks for all comments/thoughts.

VIG

i went for mediation before divorce. at the time things were very raw and it was too soon for me and i found it very difficult. we went for about four sessions and a draft agreement was made for finances but in the end i found it a waste of time as circumstances including the death of my father made any agreements irrelevant. None of it was legally binding and it was supposed to speed up the process but i found it hard sitting in the same room as my x infact it was the hardest part of the divorce for me. Not saying it may work for you tho as you seem further ahead emotionally than i was.

Hi Vigorate,
It’s good you are getting to the nisi / meditation stage finally. I don’t want to put a dampener on things for you !!
We went through the full court process to the bitter end which was horrendous, so absolutely try mediation first.
But for me it was fairly pointless and I’m not sure the experience of the mediator would have made a huge amount of difference ?It’s basically only going to be productive if both of you want to reach a settlement and are capable of seeing the others point of view. My ex’s was, you deserve nothing so it was never really going to work. The mediator doesn’t give advice per se but just steers the general direction. I guess you have to assume the more experience they have the better.
Are there reviews available for the practices they work for ? Obviously it does work for some people, but I would just caution expectations.

Sorry posted it twice.

Thanks for the comments Hatton1 and Robinson25

I had a 30 minutes introductory meeting with the mediator today. Next stage is for the ex to arrange an intro meeting as well then we can get started.

No emotions about the whole situation anymore for me, just need to move forward with mediation then court if the experience proves fruitless.

The mediator was quite confident in himself and said 70% of his clients reach agreement!

For others going through the process, the rate is GBP 355 an hour excluding VAT (includes both of us) and he said the average is 4 sessions to reach agreement.

There might be cheaper mediators but the others I checked were around the same.

GLTA

VIG

Based on my bf's recent experience I recommend making sure they can confirm your ex has, and will bring along all relevant figures to your first session. It's fruitless if only one party comes to the table fully prepared!