Mediation - can anyone share their experiences?

Ps
I started off by being reasonable, and asking for way less than half, so as not to inconvenience him too much, but due to this behaviour, nastiness and evilness, I have changed my tune, and am now going for what a judge says I can have, which is definitely more than I have at the moment!
Stay strong

Thanks again Under60, I shall print one off !

I was also very naive at the beginning on timescales. Reading some of the stories on hear it's daunting how long the divorce and financial settlement can take. I completely understand your new stance and hope your hearing doesn't have to be delayed because he is playing deliberately delaying tactics. Sad to hear yet another stbx thinks it's ok to behave evilly.

Because I am being realistic I have been researching arbitration instead of the long & costly court process. Who knows what will happen as finances haven't even been mentioned yet, 8 months in. He may yet surprise me and behave reasonably ( I am laughing inside here ).

Like you I am totally financially vulnerable so not sure how long I can wait for a resolution.

If you do watch the tv programs, you will see that some of these mediation jobs drag on for months too, when one party is a total idiot, but it made good telly

We have recently had separate MIAMs and I think that I found it a bit of money for old rope. £90 each to be told what I could have read in the brochure.
Just had my first joint mediation last week and found that it was 2 hours of going through the detail of the financial disclosure form which I admit I found useful but not convinced by his figures - after 20 years together, you know when he is blagging it a bit. Unfortunately she was ok with his figures and I feel like now that I am going to come off worse ad I felt rubbish and drained afterwards. Its a bit of a game. And he played it well, smiled and appeared very reasonable. However, as soon as he got outside mediation, he was back to shouting at me in the car park and using bullying tactics. Oh, £180x2 for the privilege. Guessing a few sessions may be needed.

Hello,
My experience of mediation is that it was nothing short of an exercise I had to go through. It took me ages to get my ex there, we were both in separate rooms thankfully, and the poor mediator had to shuffle between us. First meeting was one and a half hours long, got nowhere, second meeting lasted just 45 minutes before the mediator ceased proceedings due to my ex not wanting to budge on her 'I'm entitled to everything and more' stance. I'm sure it can work for many couples, but sadly not in my case.

Thanks for sharing your 'experience' of mediation Carlsberg71.

I am coming from the opposite position of my ex deciding I am entitled to nothing ! He has told me several times that I will be 'lucky' to get 50 %.

I too am very doubtful mediation is going to work but I am prepared to compromise to get a quicker settlement and get this now fairly vile individual out of my life.

What worries me is that I am yet to hear from anyone I know or on here that mediation has worked for them. Perhaps those who are successful do not need this site !!

For me mediation was a rip off we both attended first meeting separately I think it was £120 a pop. I agreed to mediation and no problem with being in say room etc. I then got a letter to say mediation not suitable and they wouldn’t say why.

I was annoyed and was positive he had said something so contacted him he was annoyed with me because he thought I had said something. Turned out we both agreed to mediation and had no problems with any of the questions.

So from my point of view our mediator was making a killing for doing nothing. If anything she created a further problem.