Does Judges always want mediation first?

Had my first appointment in court yesterday. I did an exchange of form E with X''s solicitors and judge. I am self represented. Judge heard we are doing mediation for child arrangement matters so told us to sort out financials there. Is this normal? Wonder why they couldn''t do this in first place? Think this was only way they could get form E out of me?

I''ve agreed to talk to my X at mediation but I can''t really see her agreeing to my terms tbh. Otherwise I am ready to fight them in court as she gets free legal aid via bullshitting her way via DV. I am a suffering victim of DV with support from a local group.

I hope to resolve these matters easily

Any tips please and obviously I will be nice and polite to X after all the shit she has put me through

It makes sense, doesn''t it?; to sort out child arrangements and the finances in mediation. In general, using mediators to negotiate a fair arrangement with your ex is quicker, less expensive and less stressful than taking your disputes through a contested court battle.

Research shows that 80% of the couples who have been to mediation, at any stage of separation or divorce, reached some agreement. Mediation made communication easier and the separation or divorce was less bitter and stressful. Most felt it had helped them to co-operate as parents over their children. Even when there was a high level of conflict and individuals had felt doubtful about taking part, most said it enabled them to talk and be heard in a way that would not otherwise have been possible.

Mediation isn''t about getting your spouse to agree to your terms, or you agreeing to hers; mediation allows you and your ex to discuss your differences in a constructive and supportive environment, and the mediator will work with you both to enable you to come to an agreement. The mediators job is to act as an impartial third party and manage the process, helping you to exchange information, ideas and feelings constructively and ensuring that you make informed decisions.They have no power to impose a settlement on you.

As the Judge has told you to use mediation to sort out the finances, you need to make the best possible use of the mediation process. Try not to see everything as a conspiracy, as this hearing was your first appointment, the Judge wouldn''t ahve been aware of on-going mediation for a separate matter until the hearing.