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Mediation has failed - what can I expect now?

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05 Oct 09 #151976 by whenwilliteverend
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Hi all, This is my first posting. I just want to move on after six years how much longer could this be drawn out before I start investing in my future?? I have been seperated for 6 years after 20 years of marriage, we have 3 children all of which have left the FMH. To say that my ex has been less than cooperative is an understatement. I have recently obtained a Decree Nisi after 3 attempts and attended 3 mediation sessions to try and agree a Clean Break. My ex wife treated the whole process with contempt and as such this process failed. I provided all information requested and made a 50:50 offer of my investments, overseas property and FMH. She has never payed anything towards the mortgage and lives in the FMH. I am divorcing her on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and will apply for my Absolute this week. What is the worst case scenario before I can stop her benefiting from my efforts or future investments? I just need to see the light at the end of the tunnel!:(

  • Ephelia
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05 Oct 09 #151979 by Ephelia
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Have you applied for ancillary relief? If not do so immediately, then a court will require her to provide the necessary information and will set in place a timetable to get things done by... if you have an unco-operative ex this is the only way... hopefully when she sees how much money this route will cost she'll start being more co-operative...

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05 Oct 09 #151980 by Bobbinalong
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unfortunately mediation only works if both people go with the same goal. Sometimes one has a preplannned itinery of what they intend to get ou tof it, maybe your ex didnt but she didnt want to come to an agreement anyhow. I makes me wonder why some people want to continue to live under this veil of despare and just get on with their lives, even though your kids are grown up, it wont make the future any easier and the bitterness will last for years, my parents split 25 years ago, I am afraid it still continues now, and now its my turn.

As the previous post, you have to find out what your options are sometimes it is worth some expenditure to bring things to a closure and it maybe the harsh route but it has to be done. She is bviously rubbing her hands maybe in comfort in the knowledge that she is going to be difficult to shift, so get a bigger wedge and shift her.

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12 Oct 09 #153744 by whenwilliteverend
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Thanks for the advice, I will speak to my solicitor and get things going. It's good to know you are not alone. Your words of wisdom give me some hope :)

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12 Oct 09 #153759 by Ephelia
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You're definitely not alone and my partner and I know well the worry and stress caused by an ex who won't be reasonable or deal with the issues but insists on dragging things out to a ridiculous degree.

The result in my partner's case is that his ex has lost a lot of money, as the value of the house dropped by over £150,000 in the time she's dragged this out and as she was always being offered by far the largest percentage of this she has lost the most...

Hopefully your ex will see sense soon - best wishes.

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