spousal maintenance

As a minimum you each need a one bed home. How much would that cost?

Have you done a benefits check to make sure you are getting everything you should if you are unable to do any sort of work? Is incapability to work permanent or could it improve?

You don’t mention ages which will have a big impact on pensions as you may be able to access them now.

How long is it since SBTX left FMH and where do they live?

Who currently pays cost of running FMH if your only income is £400 per month? Do just you and the daughter living at home cover everything?

If STBX I’d earning £48k I would have thought spousal maintenance would be unlikely or short term especially if they need to take on a mortgage.

Are you able to work and choose not to because you have taken on caring responsibilities for your dad? This could make a difference as they could argue that you are failing to maximise your income so don’t need a greater share of assets or SM.

How big is the FMH? If it is too big for you and or is unaffordable, keeping it in the long term doesn't sound like much of an option I am afraid. There may be ways to make it work if say you could rent out rooms? Does your fathe live with you or does he have his own property??

Spousal maintenance would negate any benefits you may be entitled to so this is a consideration.

He will have a mortgage capacity so you need to know how much he could reasonably borrow as well as the cost of suitable 1-2 bed properties. If he has to take out a mortgage to buy a similar property to yours that would diminish his ability to pay SM.

If the borrowing required is nil or very small, he may still have surplus income to pay some SM at least until pensions kick in. As above though entitlement to benefits must be considered as must your ability to work and earn.

Have you assessed your reasonable income needs?

You could have SM capitalised as a lump sum that you can draw on to meet your reasonable needs rather than a monthly payment. This would give you a greater than 50% share of the capital assets.

Pensions should be split to equalise incomes in retirement.

Bear in mind that you have much more flexibility if you agree settlement between you rather than asking a court to decide what it should look like.

It may be helpful to invest in a legal financial consultation to get advice on settlement. That way your individual circumstances are being considered. There is a fixed price service available via this site.

Hadenoughnow

thank you both for your replies.

A lot to think about and it looks like I will have to adjust my expectations. Seems unfair.

thank you very much for reality check