School Fees

I have Consent Order that states that I am responsible for the payment of school fees. I have paid these for the last 5 years. My son did very badly in his GCSEs and did not meet the criteria to go on to A level. The only offer the school have made is for him to board, to resit and then move on to A level. He lives with his mum less than 5 miles from the school. The fees will now be over 12k a year as opposed to the 2.5k that I have been paying. I did not agree to pay these fees, however she has went ahead and he has started to board. My Ex sent me a very formal text informing me of her decision, which makes me suspicious that I was not the only recipient, the way it was worded would look like it could be for her solicitor. I have been out of the country on holiday when this was agreed with the school.

The wording in the consent order is very vague, it just states that I pay school fees. It does not stipulate a fee or even the school. Therefore could I be made to pay these additional fees? I already pay £500 child maintenance on top of the present fees and have funded a rugby tour for next year for another 2.5k. I think I pay enough and feel it would be unfair to ask me to pay more. Any advice would be appreciated.

I guess the first question would whether you can afford the fees? If you can, then I am sure you would not begrudge paying them if it is going to help your son have a better start in life.
Having said that, it is certainly something that should have been discussed with you rather than it just bring assumed that you would cough up. I don't think it would be unreasonable for you to suggest she contributes to the cost, especially if he is boarding so she isn't having to pay for food etc.
I think you should have been involved in the discussion and been able to talk your your son about what he wants. I guess the reason for boarding is so he can focus 100% on his studies. However you need to get to the bottom of what went wrong with his gcses. It maybe that he just does not do well in exams. If that's the case, you may want to look at other options including vocational qualifications or maybe an apprenticeship which could take him up to degree level.

Hadenoughnow

You have two choices. Pay or don't pay.

If your ex partner doesn't agree with your choice she has two choices. To accept your choice or take it back to court for enforcement.

You're right in the fact that a vague order doesn't help anyone - a more closely defined order would have avoided this situation and from what you've said if it does return to court this is something it may be worth asking.

For the moment respond politely with the points you've made. Your ex partner should return the matter to mediation before a court hearing too.

Thanks for replies; the issue is not only about the cost but also is this the right route to take. She has form in this area, she enrolled him in the school 5 years ago, while I was in Afghanistan! I was merely presented with a bill on my return. I agreed to the consent order in the belief that I would carry on paying the fees as a day pupil, for however long he was at the school. I have offered to carry on paying the fees as they stand and she can use his maintenance money to make up the rest, this will be more than half so she can contribute the rest. I offered to speak to the headmaster to agree a plan going forward but she has refused, I don’t want to go charging in as on a previous occasion she involved my son and this upset him. However he is now nearly 17 so he should be able to cope better.

As an aside I also pay for all his uniform needs. She uses my son as she knows I want the best for him. I think this time she has gone too far. I will wait and see how she responds, thanks again for your input.

Firstly, what can you afford?

The consent order.
Simply it requires you to agree.

Your son's wishes.
What does he want?

The headmaster.
They have no choice to speak to you regardless of who pays the fees. Having parental responsibility means that schools, doctors, local authorities have to share relevant data about your child.

Failing and form
List all your questions;
Why has he failed?
Did he always board?
Why can't he stay at home?
Speak to the head, son and ex. and note all of the responses, and keep your thoughts private.