Living to your reasonable means

If she’s charging them rent and they are planning on being long term tenants then I don’t see why it shouldn’t be considered. Although I don’t think it would classed as cohabitation, more her needs are less if she has a rental income from them.

I don't think she is charging rent but whether a judge will regard that as fair since I'm paying the full mortgage on a house with three adults come the final hearing I'm not sure.

I'm hoping should the judge order the sale that he requests three adults to at least pay towards it. I'd have thought he'd be sensible enough to put some sort of a time limit to give them an incentive to sell up i.e. by making them to start paying.

A lot of people are really telling me to just stop paying the mortgage to be honest.

If the judge orders a sale then I'm not sure if her parents would to be considered in regards to SM since they'd probably suggest they wouldn't live together in the future. I doubt a judge would swallow that though

You have no obligation to pay the mortgage, but if she doesn’t, and your name is on the mortgage, it’s still your problem. Defaulting on a mortgage will stay on your credit file for some time so whilst her/her parents might pay it if you don’t, they might not. In my case I gave my ex two months’ notice before I stopped paying. Maybe consider that?

Downside is, all the while you are paying the mortgage and renting somewhere else, you are demonstrating your ability to do so. Catch 22 I know but it’s the way it goes...

A judge won’t regard it as fair. The house will be sold. Her parents are not your (or even her) problem. What Im saying is, if she wants to carry on living with them then her NEED is lessened as her outgoings will be split three ways (I live with my partner so his NEED is less as we split our bills 50/50, his divorce went to final hearing and the judge relied heavily on me being in a position to support him but if he didn’t live with me, he couldn’t afford to rent somewhere on his own. So what do you do?!)

If her parents aren’t planning on living with her permanently, then her need reduces to a two bed property without any argument from her side. She can’t have her six bedrooms, with for empty and think you should pay for her!

Logically I'm only considering stopping paying the mortgage after the divorce is complete. Can a judge order me to just restart again though?

The problem is that shes dug her own hole so deep that even the child maintenance and the mortgage just isn't enough to meet her needs.

Even the additional interim maintenance isn't enough for her as she still asked for more at the first hearing but was turned down. If it gets to a final hearing which is only 5 months away shes not going to turn her situation around.

She needs two thirds of my income now just to keep her head above water but I find it hard to believe a judge can allow this situation to carry on past the final hearing until the house sells. It's not viable.

The flip side if if did just allow it to carry on he gives them no incentive to change and prolong the house sale.

You won’t need to consider what you’ll do post FH, this will be decided for you!

Have you had legal advice?

I have had legal advice but I'm prepping for the second hearing at the moment as best I can.

I think it's likely to be a dead duck though as she clearly just doesn't want to sell nor wants to give up this business dream.

None of her options are viable for the property in question. I think she realises this but is just digging in her heels playing the ultimate game of brinkmanship.

This is why I'm considering scenarios now past the final hearing. My understanding is that ultimately a judge can't make me pay a third party like a bank.

I've got to carry on just to at least get divorced. If a judge just orders me to carry on as is until the house sells though it just seems more sensible to get signed off sick and let the mortgage go than go through a merry go round of more courts again to get her sell.

I'm mid thirties and I'm prepared to just start over if necessary.

You’re going to trash your credit rating and won’t be able to start over if you did that.

Deal with each scenario as it happens. You may be surprised at what happens at FDR.

A Judge can order you to fully indemnify your wife against all such liabilities. So if you don’t pay the mortgage you will breach the order and now for yourself moving forward.