Please help!

Hello and thanks in advance for any help here. I’m recently divorced and have my Decree Absolute. My ex-husband tried to prevent at the last minute by sending in an application to the court that decree Absolute could jeopardise his home rights. My Decree application got in to the court first and was granted. Not sure if my ex-husband’s application would have been successful.

I have to mention that I’m a U.K. citizen, my ex is American and we’ve been enforceably separated for over 4,year’s. I bought the house during the marriage and whilst enforceably separated with totally my funds prior to marriage. He’s threatening that if I don’t pay his demands for settlement he’ll list my house with the DoJ who’ll likely put a lien on my property to cover his financial liabilities ie his fine and restitution.

He’s lodged an application with U.K. land Registry for home rights. We are officially divorced and I’ve submitted HR4 application to land Registry together with Decree Absolute. However, land Registry informed me they’re giving him a week to submit evidence or information to support his HR1 home rights application and not dismissing automatically as we’re divorced and, this goes against all I’ve read that home rights are not applicable after divorce.

Home rights were not on my property prior therefore there’s no order from the Court or a continuation order from the Court. Has anyone experienced anything like this please. I’ve been through 5 years of marriage hell and he’s still got his claws into me post divorce. We’re still negotiating financially but, he’s been evasive and withholding throughout making settlement almost impossible for now.

The house was bought with my funds and there absolutely no proceeds of crime involved here. He’s stating home rights should be granted as the financial settlement is ongoing and me and my house will likely be pursued by the DoJ. His charges he was indicted and arrested for were several years before we even met let alone married. He’s so angry I divorced him and if home rights are granted after divorce it makes a mockery of the law and legislation.

As he was on federal hold throughout he was only allowed to visit me twice totalling 15 weeks he spent here. I bought the house June 2019. He was last here January 2021 for 5 weeks. He’s claiming it was the matrimonial home. Home rights are there so a spouse can continue occupying a property or are looking to return to live there in the future. We are divorced this isn’t going to happen and further, as he’s on federal hold, he cannot and could not live here. Further he’s going to be incarcerated so cannot return. What on earth are the land Registry thinking of allowing him to rebut my HR4 and objection when we’re divorced.

Home rights are not granted for financial gain or to deliberately obstruct a house sale. This is outrageous. Can anyone help here please? Thanks.

Hello and sorry for another post after the last lengthy one but I forgot to mention that I did not know of the charges and allegations prior to marriage. I now know my ex-husband knew he’d likely be indicted before he proposed.

After a mere 9 months of marriage, in March 2017, two NCIS flew over from the USA and knocked on the door of the property we were renting. They interviewed my ex-husband for around 7 hours. I had no idea what was going on. Subsequently, an indictment was unsealed and he had to fly to the USA where he was arrested and had to attend an arraignment. He’s been on federal hold since March 2017. Trial is expected next year but, he’s mentioned he’s looking at a plea deal.

He’s threatened if I don’t pay what he wants in divorce settlement he’ll list my house in financial disclosure to the department of justice. He is after half of the retirement pay he’s contributed to the marriage even though he’s personally had sole use of much of that so his demands are unreasonable and disproportionate, notwithstanding the hell and stress he’s put me through throughout our short marriage.

I’ve tried to settle financially but he won’t accept my offer. Now we’re divorced he’s lodged home rights application. Can anyone help please. Has anyone endured anything like this? The Land Registry know all this information yet allow him time to object to my objection for home rights. Thanks. Angela

I tried every which way but loose to sort the Consent Order however, my now Ex lied, evaded and withheld throughout making it almost impossible to sort finances prior to my application for decree absolute.

He also demanded too much money which was unreasonable and disproportionate especially given he’s personally spent much of what he’s demanding prior to divorce therefore, he’d be getting twice.

He’d lie on a form E, he’s lied throughout the marriage let alone divorce proceedings. He’s very angry I’ve divorced him and the day before I could apply for DA, he put an application in to delay the Decree Absolute saying he’d be financially disadvantaged if DA granted prior to finances being settled. Further disadvantaged because he has property (my property) which the IRS and DoJ are likely going to pursue for his debts.

He’s calling my home the matrimonial home even though I bought with my funds and, due to his federal hold, he could only visit twice, totalling only 15 weeks, between June 2019 and March 21 (when I filed for divorce). How can he deem that living as man and wife in the matrimonial home.

He’s looking to me to cover much of his fine and restitution. He’s had his mother disinherit him (apparently) so he won’t get her house and money as the DoJ would come for that. He’s got savings, military retirement pay now. He has social security from 2023 and his ex-wife’s pension share in 2024 yet, as that is future, he won’t be disclosing that to the DoJ, just my house and money.

As for the home rights application, he said that the Court will be considering his application to delay decree absolute, even though it’s already been granted, as he lodged the day before and the Court didn’t see before I applied for DA. He says as it was pending, it’s a procedural irregularity and DA should not have been granted. He’s looking to have his application looked at ASAP and have DA rescinded.

His argument to delay the DA was all about the IRS and DoJ and how he’d be financially disadvantaged. On research, financial disadvantage would not be grounds to delay DA so, his application would likely be unsuccessful. He’s still pushing for home rights though based on his application to delay DA should still be pending.

I’ve no words (polite) for my ex-husband.

In addition, even with a consent order, my ex is saying that it might not prevent the DoJ still pursuing me. So essentially, I’d be paying twice and hammered twice. It makes no sense as that would mean he would be getting much more than 50% of my house and funds and, given the short marriage (5 years) it wouldn’t be 50-50 anyway. Apparently I can’t have any of his military retirement pay as it was in place before we married. Further, he’ll delay getting his social security and ex wife’s pension share (part of his first divorce package) until his fine and restitution is paid, leaving him with a rather decent monthly income. Just come for me in the meantime.

He said he’d do nothing unpleasant if I stopped divorce proceedings and, he didn’t want divorce as he still loved me. Yeah, evidently.

Again, no polite words.

Sorry for yet another post but, im trying (honestly) to be as concise as possible given this awful and convoluted nightmare.

My ex husband is a manipulative, controlling and cruel narcissist.

His public defender lawyer representing him in the USA regarding all the federal charges has even emailed me direct saying that what’s been negotiated in a plea deal between him, my ex and the DoJ, based on my ex’s finances there’s still a significant shortfall which they’re looking for me to cover. He even pressurised with a strict timeline for me to capitulate as the plea deal was nearing completion and would be put before the judge presiding over the case soonest.

If I don’t pay the shortfall, his lawyer said the DoJ will likely look to put a lien on my property and, even if I do pay, the DoJ might still pursue me. It’s like I’m being sentenced too, the marriage also a sentence.

During our negotiations (between solicitors) I asked more than reasonable questions ie what amounts of fine and restitution has been negotiated to give me a look at the financial landscape and see the practicality of his offer (what he was demanding). I always sent comprehensive emails which were always responded to selectively and did not answer anything at all. My emails were always met with veiled threats.

He holds me jointly and severally liable for his tax debts as his military retirement pay went into our joint account. I now know his tax stunts and have hit back at him hard. He’s admitted he and the IRS are in discussions and, there’ll likely be nothing he has to pay (an IRS error apparently) but, it’s his debt, I was not privy, had no knowledge to what he put on his tax returns. He filed married but separately.

He said initially if I paid what he wanted and needed he’d indemnify me best as he could should the DoJ pursue me. He’d also make sure the shortfall I cover would be put in a Trust with his US lawyer and some of that could be used to pay for legal representation to fight the DoJ if necessary. I’d need representation in the U.K. though that I’d need to pay for myself.

A lien on my property would annihilate my sterling credit rating that I’ve had for a very long time. The upset and stress I’ve experienced as a result of him and him alone is inordinate, seemingly never ending and has had, could have a catastrophic effect on my future.

My health, physically, mentally and emotionally has taken a real downturn and, I’m terrified the DA will be rescinded.

He initially asked that I wait to file for divorce till the new no fault law came in, yeah right, do I continue being reeled in and stupid. If DA is rescinded, I’m worried I’d have to start divorce all over again. He’s in the USA and I know he’d try and evade being served and protract every which way again.

Further, he could get in quicker and leave me as the Respondent giving him the reins in full, again he’d just delay. He doesn’t want to lose me but, in any event, he’ll punish and cause undue stress for as long as he can.

I beat cancer at aged 27 and he actually said he’d if I actually divorced him, he’d do his utmost to make sure he’s the cancer I won’t be able to get rid of.

DA cannot be rescinded….this nightmare must end. In the meantime, his deadline with the Land Registry over home rights application is 13 December to provide information/ evidence or they’ll cancel his home rights application as I’ve provided the land Registry with the Decree Absolute. I’ve another very rough week ahead trying to rid myself of him and everything.

I’m at my wits end. Thank you again in advance for any help here.

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