unreasonable behaviour

Lucretia,
My dear ex agreed to a 2yr sep divorce at july 07. In Dec 07, I got a UB Petition where she lied like a persian carpet and accused me of the most outrageous behaviour.

No accounting for people, but at the end of the day, the marriage was over. Time to move on, with dignity intact if possible.

I understand what you are saying, but if one party is not willing to move forward, then it is up to the other to move it along, to the ultimate benefit of both.

A divorce is a piece of paper. The heartache goes with what happened before

Mike

Well ladies, will agree to differ on this one. My circumstances were clearly very different to both of yours. I felt I had my nose thoroughly rubbed in it by my ex, but I have to take the long term view. I want a life without bitterness and constantly looking back and seeking to blame. I just want to enjoy my children and my new life.

So from my perspective, I thought it better to end it and move on.

Mike

Maysie01 wrote:

hear hear lucretia

Us ginger cats have to stick together Maysie.

To Mike..... no doubt my stbx would say that I had made up a load of lies as well.... I am not saying that you have not got a point... BUT one person's truth is another person's fabrication..

Which is why no one pays that much attention to what goes on the Petition.

When the Government tried to introduce no fault divorce it backed off from doing it properly so that to divorce in less than five years without consent is difficult without exaggeration and lying. It is best to separate the emotions from the practicalities. As one judge put it by the fact one party has petitioned the court the marriage is effectively over. Time and energy is better spent sorting out the finances and arrangements for any children than arguing about allegations. Emotions just hurt the wallet and are better dealt with separately from the practicalities, using a counsellor if necessary. It is always possible to agree the marriage has broken down but disagree with the allegations cited.

No one apart from the parties, the judge and solicitors see the reasons for divorce because they are not mentioned in the decrees and the Petition is archived, then destroyed. Divorcing spouses are actually under a duty in E&W to use information given in divorce proceedings for the purposes of the proceedings only and there are restrictions on disclosing information. When the rules don't allow it strictly speaking disclosing information is contempt of court.

There are three cliches worth bearing in mind. First of all it's often said *everyone* is untruthful in family cases. This might be an exaggeration but the emotions are such that there are often difficulties in distinguishing facts and evidence. Secondly, lawyers just love clients who stick to principles because they will fight to the bitter end no matter what the costs. Lastly, self-righteousness alienates others and is often an unstable prop for one's ego.

Having read these comments Its good to hear there are people out there with similar problems.

I refused the offer of an unequivable divorce based on 2 years separation, the route cause of my refusal the use of the word "uneqivable" I now have a Petition with 12 points of pure fantasy trying to build a case against me.

I moved out of FMH as i discovered my husband had a string of homosexual affairs and made a trip to San francisco on my credit card! I have traced the bars etc he visited, and on his petition he says lack of intimancy on his return as a reason for UB never mind my sexual health Aids hep a b or c

I want to have the petition ammended to remove these and other statements and am not happy just signing the Acknowledgement of Service to let it run smoothly, I am happy to get divorced but will not have my dignity offended, its hard enough finding out your husband was a gay let alone have him divorce you as if you are the wrong doer.
I refuse to agree with his petition and thats where it is at mo.
And for the record also refuse to say I disagree with the particulars as I want them removed as they are degrading and offensive.