Difficult

Thanks everyone for you messages.

Its been a really tough day today in fact this week has been pretty bad. Previously it felt like a few days at a time I was OK then would have a meltdown for a day or two.

This week I have just felt so brutally down at times. I do know it will pass but at the time I feel so bad it is like a wave of panic that hits me and the overwhelming feeling I have at that point is that I need everything to be "back to normal".

I know that is irrational and the new normal is life on my own.

I think it will be easier when my wife leaves the house. I feel kind of stuck at the moment and, if anything, things are getting more emotional as we approach the day that she leaves.

Not sure how I will be in the days leading up to that.

M.

(((Moona)))

All we can send is our virtual support,but you have that in bucket loads.What your going through is one of the most difficult things we have to face,and believe me it takes a lot of courage to have endured these last week''s.The reality is,the moving out day is looming,and that is when you will really find out how strong you have been.
When your wife told you how she felt,and what her plans were,all your life imploded,but because you continued to live together I suppose it sort of put off the inevitable, but unfortunately we have to go through all those emotions,we cannot bypass them or ignore them,we have to endure them and the pain that comes with them.Believe me that pain is horrendous but it is survivable..

I can honestly tell you that I still have a few down days,and I am well down the line,so your entitled to have your days,and no matter how amicable you are,how the finances are,your still going to be wishing it would all go away and things would go back as you were,at the end of the day your only human,and us humans don''t like pain.

Moona I am not going to sugarcoat this,but you have a few dark weeks ahead,and your entitled to feel however you feel,but at some point you will notice less anxious days,you will start noticing people smiling again,you will feel a new awakening in yourself,but that is all in your timescale,and not what others dictate..

This damn rollercoaster we all joined is one hell of a ride,but honestly we learnt many things from it,some good some bad,you will find which ones are relevant to you as you travel that ride,but eventually that ride starts to slow down and hopefully then your starting to find yourself again

One thing to remember though,your not alone,your supported by people who are at different stages of this journey,some beginning,some going through it and yes the lucky ones,the ones who are through it,and who are now smiling again....

Take care and stay strong
Cwtchs
Afon. Xx

Afon

Many thanks - that means a lot.

The next weeks are going to be very hard and I suspect I will be offloading onto here to help get me through.

If I think back to when my wife told me she wanted to split I thought my life was ending - literally. 10 months have passed since then and I am in a better place. For many months I hoped we could work things out but after Xmas it was finally decided that she wanted to split.

Once she has gone I will be able to move on a little and maintain as little contact as I can although we will need to comunicate frequently re the kids. I can see that it will be sad when she goes but at least I will be able to move onto the next phase.

This is the biggest challenge of my life - nothing else has ever come remotely close. It is testing me to the Absolute limit. I will be happy though and I will create a full and contented life - as Declan says often - all we need is inside ourselves. I do really believe that too.....it''s just that the sadness at times at the moment is simply crushing.

M.