Dealing with anger and resentment

3 months into our separation and after a complete humiliation. ..I''m angry. Yes I''ve done all of the reading, I know it''s a stage of grief.

We still have (an ailing) business together and I had to speak with him today, I felt sick at the sound of his voice and I want to tell him what a low life I think he is. What a terrible useless father he is. .. I''m so angry. I feel tricked and betrayed.

I''d love to know how other people have dealt with their anger and resentment. His patronizing pity makes me want to scream at him.

Help! It''s eating me!!

I haven''t seen my stbx for over 4 months. I am dreading having to see him because I am getting stronger in myself everyday. I am sure I will go into meltdown when I do.
If your company is failing would you not be better to get out now and get a job that has more security for you. Not knowing what you do, is it possible for you to do some of the work from home.
I do keep having flashback but they have gone from being heartbreaking to anger, but now the flashbacks seem to make me feel more determined to get a life for myself and realize what an ass hole I have been married to for 32 yrs.
Stay strong, dont bottle things up because you will explode and all the wrong things will come out.

Hi, I have told you before, I really understand how this must be making you feel. Having to be forced to see him day by day. I suppose thats where your income comes from as well.

Well, I think maybe you should look at a way out. The thing is it cannot stay like this forever. As I told you also with my possible stbx you unfortunately have to come to a point where you just put it to them and despite all the screaming, and the insults just remember "it had to be done". And better do it now than later when things are definately going to be worse.

And you just have to tell yourself...well I had to do it. So if there is a different job you can get, or sell your part of the company or whatever, just get yourself out of there because the harm that is done day by day will just take longer to get better. Mine has started slowly and only got faster and faster and the damage worse and I truely believe if I saw the problems comming a long time ago, I could have steped aside but now that they are here I will have to fight to get out and every day as they get closer and closer and more personal the fight gets worse and worse.

So yours is already verry bad, but try everything you can to get out of that situation as soon as possible as I cannot see a business with ''problems'' owned by divorced people can ever work.

Be angry. It''s totally allowed.

It might make things easier in the long run if you can channel that anger away from his parenting skills because when all is said and done he will still (hopefully) be an active father and so that will be your single point of contact with him in the years ahead. Try not to sour that no matter how much he deserves it!

As to the rest of his lowlife behaviour and character? Let rip. I suspect there is a lot to come out.

The emotions in this horrid process are the worst part.

I can''t say I am dealing fantastically but I am dealing with them.

I try all sorts of distraction techniques which sometimes work and sometimes don''t.

I am angry at my STBX for the lies he tells me now and his blatant and vehement denial that he is lying!

But to what end - it really gets me nowhere! I am trying very hard to simply move on.

I find the night times the worst as I wake in the middle and all of a sudden my brain is like ''woooohoooo she''s awake - right now go bombard her with all those stupid thoughts that have been plaguing her'' lol!

I would use this forum and any close friends you may have as a means to vent - don''t let him see that you give a sh*t - hard as that may be!

x