What to expect?

Hello

My stbx and I separated 5 years ago. We were married for 24 years, noone else involved.

For the first 2 years things ticked along and then, on the 1 night he had the children, I dared to go out and all hell broke loose. He'd been spying on me it seems. Anyway I rented somewhere and the mh was sold. Since then, for 3 years the proceeds have been sitting in the solicitors bank account. We're only talking about £80,000. We have debts, individually and jointly totalling some £50,000. Mine are larger though with the help of statements relating back, I can show that the greater part of this is marital expenditure. I've been told that expenditure for me such as clothes won't count as marital expenditure. Anyway, my solicitor submitted my original form E last year in September with an offer of paying off all the debts and splitting it all 50/50. This was ignored. After a while I got fed up, and told my solicitor to apply for the Absolute. This galvanised the other side into action and a court date was set for the 1st FH at the beginning of June. A week befor howeer, they weren't ready and asked me to agree to an adjournement. I'm paying £250 plus VAT for my solicitor. So I agreed as I didn't see the point in paying mine to turn up when the other side wasn't ready. We are now due in court on 4 August. Thats the background now this is my question.......does anyone have a guesstimate of a likely outcome?

I have the children 6 nights a week (though my eldest has now reached 19 and doesn't count to anyone seemingly - only to me). My youngest is 13. My ex has Parkinsons and works 4 and a half days a week.

I earn £23000, he must earn a lot less because he gets legal aid. He lives in job related accomodation and doesn't pay full rent/utilities as I do on the open market. However obviously his living accom will need to be reviewed if he can't work but I imagine he'll jump to the top of the sheltered housing list.

I have a final salary pension he pays £30 a month into a private pension although he could afford to pay substantially more.

Given that he has a degenerative illness, I'd be happy with pay off all the debts, split 50/50 on both the balance of the capital, not that there's likely to be any for me after the solicitor has his share, and a maximum share 60/40 on my pension. I would like him to be forced to make some more provision for his old age rather than just rely totally on me. He's put in an application for SM as well on the Court form. I don't want to fiddle him and I want to be fair but that's fair to us both and not just him.

What do you think the final agreement would be and what can I expect to happen on 4 August please?

Lacey,

Your stbx's situation does complicate matters .. these are a few thoughts and questions.

How old is he?? And has he been given a prognosis - ie could he have a shortened lifespan because of his illness?? I ask because if that is .. or may be .. the case, then there would be little point handing over a pension share to him if he will not live to enjoy it. Not trying to sound morbid here but being practical.

Also his housing needs are currently met and will be met by the local authority should he need to be re-housed. He would qualify for hosuing benefits and presumably a range of other benefits - including non means tested ones relating to his illness. You could find it is possible that he ends up better off than you! If he gets benefits, the means tested ones will be affected by any other income - ie pension - that he has above a certain level .. another reason for not handing over pension... or paying SM.

You mention the children .. are there just 2 of them? Who has been paying to support them since you separated?? He should be paying 15% of his income for one child and should have been paying 20% for 2.

There is a very grave danger with such a small assets pot that you could both end up just handing it over to the lawyers. Does he realise that legal aid in this situation is only a loan? He will have to pay it back from any settlement. Unfortunately some legal aid lawyers do like to drag things out - and in my experience rub their hands with glee at the prospect of representing someone who is sick and they need to be seen to be doing their very best for -- ie wasting a lot of time and energy.

You talk about a first FH .. do you mean a First Appointment?? Have you exchanged Forms E yet?

Hadenoughnow

Hello

Thank you for your reply. My stbx is 53 and I am 48. We don't talk, unless it's about the boys, because he said his solicitor told him not to speak to me.

Therefore I don't know what the prognosis is. I only found out he'd gone part time as my eldest mentioned it in passing. Apparently, according to his solicitor, I earn substantially more than him but I don't know if she has taken the subsidised housing into account. He gets the higher level DLA as he has a brand new spanking car all paid for.

Nope they had my original Form E last September and I've had to do another one for the court. I haven't seen sight nor sound of his. Yes I think I got it wrong, it's the first appointment..is there a difference?

There are 2 children, 19 & 13. He stopped paying maintenance for the 19 year old last August when he left school and said he should support himself. Eldest can only get a job for 12 hours per week and has tried to get a full time one. Maintenance is being paid for the youngest of £150 a month. I don't know how much ex earns but although in real terma it isn't enough, I can't say he doesn't look after that one. He's just paid for a school trip to France for him after all. I couldn't afford it.

Thank you for your help


I do know my current solicitors bill is £5000 and mounting. But then I also know that my solicitor has lied to me several times over the phone. He managed to get some money released to pay some debts, so I asked him several times over the course of a month to pay a credit card. He keot telling me it had been. When he was at a partners meeting, I rang their accounts department and found out despite assurances he hadn't made the payment. He rang me and said he'd misunderstood my instructions and was keeping the balance in lieu of his final bill. My instructions were clear and he knowingly went against them. I picked up a cheque to pay the credit card the next day from them. However the solicitor said that as he no longer holds any money on account he's not sure that he can keep acting for me. I signed a form which said they could take payment from the final settlement when its all done with.

He hasn't even contacted me as regards the 4 Aug court date. I had to leave a message with his secretary asking what was happening.

I don't think I trust solicitors anymore to be honest.

Lacey,

If you are not happy with your solicitor now, then change them. You should not have to put up with this sort of nonsense.

If you want a second opinion on your case you can always have a free half hour with a wiki lawyer - see divorce services at the top of the page. I would highly recommend this course of action.

There is no way you should have a bill of 5k when you are not even at First appointment yet.

You could have got to this stage on your own - you can fill in form E and get it sworn without a solicitor going near it.

Form E's should be exchanged well in advance of the court date - to give you chance to produce a questionnaire asking for anything that is missing or needs clarification. This is when you would also ask for things like medical reports etc. Somewhere on here there is a protocol which sets out when these things should happen once the process has started - I'll see if I can find it .. or maybe someone else will remember where it is and can post the link. YOu will find out a lot more about his finances when you get his Form E.

It is also utter nonsense that he is claiming his solicitor told him not to speak to you - although that may very well be the case. If he is on Legal Aid, mediation should have been considered .. even more so as this is a very small assets pot and shd not be eaten up by legal fees. Has your solicitor suggested mediation to you ??

Could you talk to your stbx and suggest you try to settle this between you? Anything you agree between you would have to go into a proper Consent Order which would need legal help to draw up and it would have to be approved by a judge - who will also have your financial details so no-one gets stitched up.

I am astounded that your solicitor does not seem to have explained the process to you. Have a look at the free wiki resources for the step by step guide which will make the process clearer.

Keep a note of your concerns about your solicitor, post on here for advice .. and when you are ready whack in a complaint about the way you have been treated. Unfortunately there seem to be a lot of unhelpful sols out there ... although they are not all bad.

Incidentally the car will be one of the assets he has to declare!

HAdenoughnow