50 Year Old Stepson

I live in Scotland and am apart from my wife as I left her almost a year ago. She still lives in the matrimonial house and since leaving I have paid all household bills which comes to about £800 per month.

A few months before I left, her 50 year old son (my stepson) arrived unannounced to stay for an undefined period. He has mental issues and could not cope with his life in England. He is on about £70 per week state benefit so some months before I left it was agreed that he pay £40 per week in respect of accommodation and food.

Now that I have left my wife and there is no prospect of reconciliation, I resent having to subsidise my stepson. (After I moved out I lived in a bed sit locally and that cost me almost £500 excluding food so I know what the local market rate might be.)

My question is am I within my rights to say that my subsidising my stepson is not a legal requirement and can I reduce/stop it and ask that my wife takes on that responsibility and cost?

Hello and welcome to Wikivorce.

No, under no circumstances are you responsible for providing financial support for your wife's 50 year old son.

Does your wife work? If so, why are you paying all the bills in the former matrimonial home?

Thank you for your response - I appreciate it.

Both my wife and I are long retired - she only has her state pension. I left the family home last April and we are trying to arrive at a financial settlement which should see her getting half the value of the house.

During the years of our marriage I have always paid for everything other than her facials, massages, pedicures, hair-do's etc. etc. which she pays for from her pension. That situation has continued since I moved out with the exception of the car which I have given to her. This was done on the understanding that she pays the running costs although I seem to have ended up paying her/their fuel costs!

Although she has not declared it as part of the divorce process I happen to know that she has tens of thousands in savings and her son has around £10k in savings also. It is starting to irk the fact that I am dipping into my savings to support her and her son as well as the fact that she has never offered to contribute to the costs of having him live in our house since the day he arrived.

Have I set a precedent by supporting him financially and cannot now change the arrangement?

No bein fun big man, but why would you be responsible for financing a 50 yo man and his elderly mum?

If she has savings they should be declared.

From what you say, it seems you are either working or have a private pension? Providing a subsidy from your savings is eating into the capital available to rehouse you both.

There will be fixed costs associated with running the house that may not increase because her son is there. Have you noticed any increase in bills? He should certainly be paying for his own food etc.

I would restrict your payments to those directly associated with the house - so mortgage and insurance. The utilities should all be transferred to her sole name as should the council tax. You can then look at your own housing costs and your respective incomes and see how much further support she needs and you are able to provide in the short term while finances are being settled.


Hadenoughnow

Chris 75 - as far as I am aware, I have a legal obligation to support her while we try and reach a financial settlement. It will be a year in April since I left her with little progress being made to arrive at that financial settlement. (My solicitor has confirmed that I am obliged to support her in the meantime.)

Hadenoughnow - have been asking her to declare her savings since last April but she is refusing to do do. I am told I can't force her to do so at this point.

I have a private pension and investments but she has only the State Pension.

As far as increased utility costs, they probably stayed the same or reduced given that there are now two adults in the house as opposed to three. Nevertheless, it irritates me to know that the stepson is paying £160 per month - a figure which is less than half of just the monthly Tesco bill!