Partner Smacked Children

I found out yesterday that my x wife''s partner has smacked one of my children (a 3 year old boy, for breaking something). Not sure how often this happens or if it was a one off, this incident was several months ago. I am not sure what to do (if anything) or what I can do. The partner is an older guy who never had children and is suddenly having to help look after 3 50% of the week.

I did text my X about it but she is refusing to discuss it.

I fully understand your concern and its difficult.
i would say the best thing you could do is, formally write to your ex stating your concerns as a parent.
You can''t really dis the guy as you don''t know all the circumstances and him maybe.
But, if you are ever going to do anything about it you need a paper trail.
Its fairly easy to contact your local social services and lodge a concern.

I have read your post a couple of times without commenting because I have very strong views about smacking children and am wary of inflaming a difficult situation.I have lots of experience with 3 to 7 year olds and have never thought smacking appropriate.
If I thought a child of mine was being smacked by any adult I would be absolutely furious and would want to have an explanation of the circumstances.I don''t think your ex wife can just refuse to discuss it with you and I think you should ask to see her to discuss it.I personally wouldn''t involve Social Services at this point but if I didn''t get answers acceptable to me I may mention that as a possible outcome.
You do have a right to know how your child is being treated ,you are the father, but if possible do try and approach your ex wife calmly and hopefully this way you will get the answers you need.

I am absolutely with Living on this. But the law considers ''reasonable chastisement'' to be ok. I think you need to discuss it (preferably calmly) if only to get more information - the event was some time ago - was it a one off, or is corporal punishment part of the disciplinary methods being used regularly? Are we talking a slap or a beating? Hitting with hands or with an instrument? Did it leave marks?

This is something I have struggled with - my 7 year old clearly describes being slapped across the face by my ex''s girlfriend ''every day'' (he''s prone to exaggeration - but clearly it''s happened more than once). For a variety of reasons - this one included - contact has ground to a halt and I have refused to start again until questions on this are answered and something (I have no idea what!) is put in place to stop it happening again. My case is perhaps strengthened somewhat by the fact that during a period the ex wasn''t with the girlfriend, he admitted to me that she had hit the children. That, and following a particularly nasty incident, he told them in front of me that they would never have to see her again. I guess he changed his mind...

I don''t know where the line is with this. I don''t accept it in exactly the same way I wouldn''t accept it if a teacher slapped my children. Only she''s not a teacher, she''s a girlfriend and presumably, at some level, ''parental responsibility'' and the fact that a parent is allowed to do what they want with the children comes into this? Kind of the idea that if the parent accepts it as being ''within reason'' and is about discipline rather than a loss of control and slapping for the sake of it, it''s OK?

From what I can work out, the smack did make my child cry and it was on the back side. And the partner has smacked again. I will contact my X and ask that we come to an agreement where current/future partners are not ''encouraged'' to use physical punishment in our children (amazing that I even have to ask this;( If this is not at least discussed then I will then speak to social service (irony, my x is training to be a social worker) .

Regarding the comment about slap around the face, I wold be on the phone to Social Services tomorrow!!!!

wormwood - can i ask, is your son himself telling you he was smacked or are you getting the information from another source?