Trying to do the right thing

Its hard enough going through the divorce process without the added stress of lack of co-operation from STBX wife...

I was made redundant a few months ago and was given some pay in lieu of notice. This money ran out quite quick particularly as I was thrown out of the house and had to pay a deposit for rent and rent in advance for 3 months (not being employed makes it hard to get a landlord to agree to rent their rooms out).

I found work in August but "on contract". This is only for 6 months with no guarantee of extension. After the 6 months I could be out of work for a few weeks or months before another comes up, or something might come up sooner if I take a lower daily rate.

I have set up a Ltd company as this is the most tax efficient way of taking income from such an arrangement. As is normal in a business to business relationship (not employer / employee) I am not paid directly but have to issue an invoice and wait 30 days to be paid. By the time the formal contract with the other business was signed and the initial invoice raised I was faced with having to wait a long time before seeing any money coming in so I negotiated to have my first payment earlier than the official 30 days. This finally came through a week ago and by then I had a business bank account setup.

So I wanted to do the right thing and with 3 kids I knew from calling up child maintenance (the new organisation) that I have to pay 25% of net income. I asked them how net income was calculated given I am a Ltd company with only 6 months worth of work. Their immediate verbal advice was to spread the 6 months income over 12 months and then calculate the 25% accordingly. To be sure of this I phoned last weekend to open a case officially so they took my details and details of STBX and 3 kids and said they would call STBX on Monday to confirm that she did not want to open a case herself then they would get back to me with a calculation within a few days. I have not heard from them yet so will have to call them for an update during the coming week.

In the meantime the new Ltd Co is still awaiting HMRC registration for a payroll scheme so that I can pay myself some salary and take some dividends. Until that is done I have no real confidence in how much I can withdraw net from the company - I have to leave enough in the company bank account to cover tax bills, VAT, accountants fees, insurance premiums etc etc, taking more money out than that is not a good idea and can leave me as company director open to a lot of trouble.

So, in trying to do the "right thing" in order to get some money across for the kids (given it was start of school term and STBX was texted me daily saying they all need some shoes, kit, singing lessons paid etc) I took a directors loan and calculated 25% of that as child maintenance amount, with the intention to square up the loan against salary when it is calculated and a dividend payment. With the "wait 30 days" situation for payments for my work I will not be paid again until early October and thereafter it will be weekly.

Then the obstacles came....

STBX said her bank account had been closed by the bank so told me not to transfer the money to there. This seemed incredible to me because I know she has 2 bank accounts. She asked me through our 13 yr old daughter by text to give money in cash. I refused as she was unlikely to give a receipt and without proof I had paid this money I would be left open at a later date to claims that I was not paying anything.

I considered writing to the solicitors to let them deal with it even though it would cost me a bomb - but I found out that I had run out of funds at the solicitor and they wanted money from me which I did not have (and separate story I have used the opportunity to find a new solicitor).

A day later my daughter texted me to say she needed some stuff. As STBX is denying me access to the children at the moment (long story all related to her assertion that I am witholding money from them which is untrue) I told her that I had no means of getting the stuff for her unless STBX let me take her shopping. The suggestion that came back was for me to put £150 into my daughters account which has a cash/debit card which I had helped her open at my bank a year ago). So they texted me the details. As it was a Sunday they could not get the money straight away so I did a telephone transfer during the week.

As more texts arrived saying more things were needed I responded that it was better for me to pay the whole lot in one go and let STBX decide what was needed rather than hassling me every few days, particularly as the business bank takes 2 days to transfer money to my personal bank account and where I work I am not near any banks.

I didn''t get a response so decided to give the remainder of the 25% anyway through my daughter''s account. By the time I got sufficient money out of the business bank account then into my account (and this proved not to be hassle free either but that is another story too!!) then into my daughter''s account (today) I sent a text to say all the money was there and that the next time I am paid would be in October and that she has to decide how to make it last and what it goes on. I also told her I would pay a gas/electricity bill that she had said she had no money for.

In response I got a lot of abuse and factually incorrect information.

In her mind she thinks I am earning £X00 per day AFTER tax so to her that equals £Y,000 per month. The fact that I did not give 25% of HER figure has driven her to say I am putting the kids into poverty they are depending on foodbank handouts (even though she is getting nearly £1,200 a month in benefits!?) and I am a bad father and therefore I should apply to the courts for access to see the kids!

She does not care about what the true facts are (The £X00 is BEFORE not after tax, I have to wait 30 days for some money, I only get paid for the days I work not if I am sick or take any holiday, I have to leave some money in the business in case there is a gap between this contract and future work etc etc). To her this is all "complexity" and "not declaring income".

I have tried to explain before in August just as I started the new job and paid them a visit (to help with some chores etc in the house) but it became a shouting match over how much I was earning that I was stingy and how dare I only pay the minimum. The abuse that was thrown at me got me upset and I had to leave the house to escape it, unluckily the children witnessed it and she is using that to say that the children are now afraid of me being around. Social services (who are involved - another long story!) phoned me up last week to say the children only want to talk to me on the phone, now today''s abuse after trying to do the right thing and pay some money and I seem to have lost that as well. Further she has told me not to text her otherwise she would report me for harassment.

So it seems without the official child maintenance calculation to hand, I am left with having to let the solicitors deal with it. As I have found new solicitors I am waiting for money to come out of my business bank into my personal account so I can pay the solicitors then I can at least talk to them, no doubt that will eat up all the money I give them and will have to wait until I''m paid in October for them to do any more on exchanging form E''s etc.

And the poor kids are caught in the middle...

Lots of information to take in.

Will try and break it down into bite sized chunks for you.

Well all those facts don''t matter anymore, I have been given notice on my contract and will be unemployed again in 2 weeks unless I can find something else quickly.