Child Maintenance for Stepchildren

Thanks mathsisfun (although the maths in my divorce is not so fun for me!).

Yes, I am hoping that she will have to chase him first, before chasing me, but am worried that the Court may see me as an easy option.

It is going to be difficult to trace all of the money; I know that during her first divorce she cleared out all of the joint accounts, giving the money to her mother, and claiming that it was a loan repayment.

I know where the last 12 months of his ''child maintenance'' is, and she is using it to pay her solicitors.

Thanks again.

Paraclete - you''re right the courts do act in mysterious ways - and the judges well don''t get me on that. I have discovered in my case whatever evidence the judges have they form their own opinions - I am having a horrific time with a certain judge - she can''t seem to see through my ex''s lies - even with evidence! Just hope if it gets to that stage you meet a fair judge! Using the money that was meant for her kids to pay for solicitors is just taking the p*** - . Good Luck! x

Hi Chocaholic,

Yes, it is the uncertainty about the wrong judge on the wrong day. The facts are so clear, and logic dictates how this should work, but I know that logic just doesn''t come into it. Yes, her statement is full of lies, with no evidence presented at all; it is just a statement of opinion, nothing more. I have gone to extreme lengths to put together my statement, back it all up with cross-referenced evidence, and even anotate her statement to cross-reference with evidence that disproves all of her allegations. The realisation that this might all be meaningless is hard to take in.

No-one minds losing a fair gfight, it is the injustice that hurts. Fingers crossed though.

I do wish you every success with your hearings, and hope that justice will prevail.

Thanks again, and good luck.

x

Are you very wealthy or have a high income? Have you paid for school fees or anything like that in the past?

Hi Wyspecial,

I started up a company a couple of years back, in which I am the majority shareholder. I am still trying to get the business off the ground. Turnover has been good in these two years, but I have expansion plans, hence salary and dividends have been minimal. Not really too sure how this will be looked at.

Ther is a sizeable cash surplus in the company which, like I said, is for expansion; but I appreciate that a chunk of this may now have to get eaten up in the financial settlement, I am ok with this.

No, I haven''t paid any school fees for my stepchildren.

Hope this helps, look forward to yuor further thoughts.

Hi,

I have just been reading your previous posts in order to get a better grasp on the situation.

I see that you and your stbx have been together for 10yrs (cohabitation and marriage), you have lived as a family with 3 children, 1 yours, 2 from stbx wife''s first marriage.

Both children from the previous marriage were young, youngest 5yrs old, when you became a family. Their biological father has continued to pay CM up to and until Dec 2012.

The eldest intends to go to university in 17 months time, the younger is thinking about going to live with biological father.

After 10yrs, although not your biological children, you must have developed a bond with them and this situation must be confusing for them.

They still have regular contact with their bio dad and no doubt he would continue CM if it went directly to his childrens needs, he will be able to do this when his eldest goes to university.

Your stbx is obviously reluctant to enforce CM from her ex, perhaps she has realised that this source of income is vunerable due to circumstances. This does not however mean they are fully your responsibility.

If you were not going through divorce, you would have continued supporting your step children, therefore the court could, looking at all the information, deem you to have a degree (however small) of financial responsibility.

I would expect, in the first instance, the court looking to the biological father to continue his support. If you were required to contribute, it would be proportionate to the shortfall and should end when they attain the age of 18yrs.

It is important to factor in the relationship between the 3 children, they are your child''s half siblings and been there since birth.

If you can try to mediate these points with your stbx and maintain family dynamics between the children, it would benefit all.

Sorry that is long, I hope you can make sense of it and realise I am looking from the outside in a non-judgemental way.

Best wishes,

NWTT.

Hi NWTT,

Thanks for taking the time to research this, and for the objective response.

Yes, cohabitation takes the period to around 10 years. There is an argument that the arrangement has officially been less than this, as my STBX continued to claim benefits for the first three years that we lived together, pretending that she was living with her mother. I had no idea that this was going on, until there was a big investigation, at which point she claimed that we had only moved in together after three years. The benefits people believed this, and there was no action, but there probably are official records somewhere that she signed, stating that we only moved in together in 2005. Needless to say, none of this benefit money ever went toward household expenditure.

Yes, both children want to get away as soon as possible but, while STBX was adamant all last year that the youngest move in with his Dad this summer, she now appears adamant that this does not happen. Some might argue that she now sees him as a meal ticket, and that has caused the change in stance.

Their father is paying them some money directly, although I haven''t quite ascertained how much this is, and on what frequency.

While I can see that the Court may want me to ''top up'' his contributions, I would hope that there would be some sort of justification with regard to the amount, rather than me having to pay the full amount on the say so of a vindictive STBX, who claims that hubby one will not pay, but has not gone through any process of chasing for this payment.

Interesting that you believe payments will cease at 18; I believe that CSA can continue to 19, and that it is possible that courts may award payments throughout uni too. Can you refer me to anything that backs up this age of 18?

mediation not an option, STBX is spoiling for a fight, and just wants confrontation.

Thanks again.