Please help... Court next week over Xmas contact.

Hi,
I am in desperate need of some help. My stbx wants to have our child over the whole Xmas period in a different part of the country and because I want to share it and he won't compromise we are at court next week for them to decide.

I have recently changed solicitors which has taken a while to transfer over... My new solicitor has advised me I should have got a statement to the courts 2 weeks prior to attending but I don't recall recieving anything telling me so.... Also new solicitor has told me that she cannot represent me in court unless I can pay her £500 as I do not have the correct funding in place. (which I also thought I had)

I can't afford that money so will have to represent myself! I have no idea what I am doing, if me not getting this statement into court over a week ago is going to cause me problems.. And also what to do now.. Do I get a statement done asap and hand it in to court late?? If so how do I do one and what do I put in it??

Please help I am really gettting worked up about this now.

;0(

many thanks x

At the first hearing it isn't uncommon to meet with CAFCASS to see if any agreement can be reached before seeing the judge. When no agreement is reached you both go before the judge who decides what further information is required to assist in making a decision, sets a timetable and makes any interim orders.

Don't panic, just state the issues in short numbered paragraphs (headed with name of the court, case number and names of the applicant and respondent) then file it with the court and copy the other side just as soon as you can.

Is it going to be a Directions hearing or final hearing?
If it's the final hearing then it sound suspiciously like delaying tactics to me.
Surely your old solicitor would have advised you about what you needed to do regarding court and legal aid?

Anyway I can't see a judge not allowing some contact for both parents over the Xmas period.
Who does the child live with?
I'm not really familiar with LA proceedures but surely a phone call to your regional LA office would clear up any problem regarding issuing a cert to your new solicitor.

Sorry I don't know if it's a directional or final hearing... Just Xmas contact will be decided next week nothing else but then I don't think there is anything else to discuss at this time. So presume that's final??

It's not delaying tactics, I'm going regardless I just feel lost!

I applied for la with old solicitor and it was revoked in April, they thought I had thousands of pounds in assets which I don't! Solicitor said it may have been an error on how we filled it in so she would sort it.
Whenever I asked about it, she said it's being sorted and I haven't paid any legal fees since April so I presumed it had!

The court thing was something that was going to be discussed closer to the time bu I change solicitors and everything took a while up change over...

Maybe I should have kept a closer eye on thing buy a solicitor tells me something and I just believe it! I haven't been through anything like this at all before....

Maybe the lesson for me is don't presume!

Oh n child lives with me 4 days and stbx 3... It's shared residence!

Hi, it might be a Specific Issues order then which is just to deal with Xmas contact, this is not likely to be as bad as the usual contact hearings and the Judge would be expected to stick to dealing with this area only.

Best advice, take someone with you who can help keep you calm whilst waiting (you may have quite a bit)though unless you request them as a Mckenzie Friend you will not be able to take into see the Judge with you.

It is really not that bad, I have done it twice now, always be respectful to the Judge, NEVER interrupt them, do not speak directly to your Ex and if you want to address his Solicitor (assuming there is one) you need to ask the Judge for their permission to speak to the Advocate(or solicitor) beforehand.
NEVER look directly at your Ex (can be seen as intimidation) also stick to this whilst waiting as well. If being spoken to by the Judge don't keep saying 'yes' all the time whilst they are speaking or nodding your head as apparently they do not like this. If you are not sure how to address the Judge (its usually 'Sir') ask the person on reception.
It is very important not to come across as demanding, Judges do not like this, keep calm, be respectful at all times and if your Ex (or their Sol) says something that upsets you or makes you feel defensive, stop, take a deep breath and think carefully before replying. In some cases its better not to respond to something negative from the other side rather than say something you may regret later on.

Good luck, Jim

scoobysnacks wrote:

Sorry I don't know if it's a directional or final hearing... Just Xmas contact will be decided next week nothing else but then I don't think there is anything else to discuss at this time. So presume that's final??

It's not delaying tactics, I'm going regardless I just feel lost!

I applied for la with old solicitor and it was revoked in April, they thought I had thousands of pounds in assets which I don't! Solicitor said it may have been an error on how we filled it in so she would sort it.
Whenever I asked about it, she said it's being sorted and I haven't paid any legal fees since April so I presumed it had!

The court thing was something that was going to be discussed closer to the time bu I change solicitors and everything took a while up change over...

Maybe I should have kept a closer eye on thing buy a solicitor tells me something and I just believe it! I haven't been through anything like this at all before....

Maybe the lesson for me is don't presume!

Oh n child lives with me 4 days and stbx 3... It's shared residence!

Ok,
As the other poster said, it looks like it's just a specific issues hearing, you won't need a soliCitor or barrister for this and don't worry there's nothing to get nervous about.
Just go in and explain that you do not think it best for the children to be completely absent from either parent during the Christmas period and give your proposal for shared holiday contact.
Christmas day can be a good day for handover as the kids get to see both parents on the special day.
I don't know what your ex's arguement will be to justify him having the kids over the whole Christmas period so can't tel you what I think the outcome may be.
Best of luck with it.

Thank you for your replies, I do feel a bit more clearer about things now so hopefully all will be ok.

Jim thank you for taking the time to give me all that advice, I appreciate it!

x