In hope

Well I have just received confirmation to attend court on the 22nd October. I note that I will be seen before the hearing I suppose in order to see what my counsel will bring before the judge in respect of my wishes. I suppose it is general for people just to get a 30 minute hearing. It is within the rights of my ex to ask me to take anotehr drugs test due to her concerns that I may not be completely drug free over a preiod of time. What I'm wondering is if anything is likely to be achieved during this half hour. I can only believe that my ex is not going to give in even though my son is missing out because of this, and if she doesn't budge then it goes to Cafcass with what I've been stated will take upto 18/21 weeks for reports due to the current delay. I dont want to wait another 4-5 months before seeing my son. Its been a year nearly now. What can I do? How can I get the Judge/counsel to obtain near on immediate contact. At present what was offered as a first resort is that my mm and I went to her location. My mum pick up my child and then I spend a few hours with him however noting the price of travel it would not be financially possible for my mother to attend. I cant talk direct to my ex. However my relationshi with her is no more than her being my sons mother and thats all. I will never involve myself with her and will never obviously want to abuse her ever again all I want is access. Can someone make any suggestions in the approach of immediate contact is it possible?

Hi,
Not good news from me I'm afraid.
It looks like the way things will go are,
She will refuse ANY contact at all during your directions hearing and mediation until a drugs test is done, and because you have indicated past abuse (or verbal violence as social workers now call it)then it seems unlikely that the judge will order interim contact until reports are done.
Looks like another few months before you see your son.
The other bad news is that because of the time gap since you last had contact the court may order initial contact to take place in a contact center for a few weeks or months to enable the child to become familiar with you again.
I had to go through this because my ex accused me of domestic violence which she later retracted and before I had been assessed by Domestic Violence specialists who found that I was NOT a perpetrator of DV at all.
It's often a ploy used by unscrupilous people who are determined to get thier way at any cost.

I hope I'm wrong,
but I really don't think I am.
Best of luck.

Thanks Tom. Like you say. This is likely to be the case. However unfortunate for me and my child. If its going to take this long I might as well try for full custody in the long term like I wanted but would of been happy with a stable line of contact if she did not put so many hurdles in my way.

bigfoot, tom, it must be humiliating to be forced into supervised contact because of a pack of lies. what about starting a group for falsely accused dads so they can be paired up for contact days to supervise each other to avoid months without contact, at least that way both dads wouldn't be made to feel inferior.just an idea.

Well, yes, but how would you tell the falsely from the truly accused? You wouldn't want someone who had really been involved in domestic violence or violence towards children around your child.

Sadie

Well it is unfortunate for me that I did cause domestic and verbal voilence towards my ex. If your able and willing to read my entire posts you will see what has happened. What I cant understand is why my ex is willing to keep my son away from me with knowledge hopefully that its damaging my sons relationship with me. Thats the worst part. I mean anybody that loves there children should be given the chance to see them. I would like the courts to see that I am not going to be of any concern towards my child but half an hour. What can really be achieved and like I said then if Cafcass get involved its another 18/21 week delay which will mean another christmas without seeing my boy and like on his last birthday i was told not to send any presents because they would not get taken in for delvery. I have had no contact with him since towards end of december last year. I am so unhappy

All I can add is that you must stay strong and hold on to the vision of being with your child eventually.
I went through a terrible time myself as I had my daughter every single day from 9am till 7pm up until I was completely stopped from seeing her.
I went through all the emotions, anger, frustration, depression, feelings of injustice, false hope,etc:
Sometimes I felt as if I had nothing left to live for as she held all the cards and had made some horrible allegations which seemed at the time to be taken seriously, I felt as if I would never see my daughter again.

But I can assure you that after a year of not seeing her and going through hell, the minute I saw her again at the contact centre it was like a cloud of depression had just vanished into thin air.
Whether it's supervised or not I hope you get to see your child ASAP.
Stay strong for him.
Best wishes