upcoming court case

Bit of a long one this

We are about to be taken to court by my wife's ex husband (divorced since 2000) so he can gain residence of the two girls (one 15 and a half and not his, the other nearly 13) the girls do see him but only when they want to and under their terms.

her ex believes we are going to move abroad soon (we had thought about it but have decided not to until the youngest girl has left school) we have informed him we are not going but still he is trying for residence.

neither of the girls want to live with him as they don't really get on with him, they have said that he never pays them attention whilst visiting and he just expects them to do chores and look after his new girlfriends children cook clean etc whilst he just sits on his computer all day, The eldest after the last visit has said she never wants to visit again due to in her words "dads girlfriends son has moved in with them and he stinks and shouts and balls at us and hits B***y and he gives me the creeps"
he is around 20, never baths and according to the eldest and youngest has a tendency to sit in chair shaking!
the youngest has expressed that she also does not want to go up again but she has a tendency to change her mind easily when she speaks to her father.

He has we think started legal proceedings to get the girls (who my wife has had sole residency of since 2000 and I have brought up since 2001)

We did briefly have with us my wife's son who is now nearly 14 (for about 18 months) because he no longer wished to live with his father, he went back to him about 6 months ago originally temporarily as he was getting into trouble in the area we were living in (we have now moved out of the area) we have recently found out (from the girls) that he never wanted to stay there and asked his dad if he could come back, he was told "no and if you ask again you will never see your mother again" (I cannot confirm this without speaking to him but we never see him as he is strangely always grounded whenever we ask for him to stay)
as far as I am aware he is not being brought into the court hearing, can we bring him into it or do we need to Petition the courts ourselves?

I no cafcass will be involved but what can we expect to happon?
can he get the girls?

They have both said they will run away if he does (the eldest even saying "I would rather jump in front of a train than live with that b*****d" her words not mine)

one other thing the youngest is a proper hand full whenever she has any type of contact with her father (by phone internet or visit) to the point it even affects her behaviour in school and the eldest has noticed (although not sure if it can be proved) he has been logging into her facebook, beebo and MSN accounts as her, on her last visit she deleted her accounts from his computer but does not trust him not to hack them again.

At the ages the teenagers are at their wishes and feelings carry weight, particularly the older one who is not that far off 16 when residence orders normally end. At that age courts would not normally compel children to see a parent against their wishes exactly because it leads to unwanted behaviour such as running away.

You can apply for leave to commence proceedings for an order or directions in existing family proceedings using Form C2 which can be downloaded from HM Courts Services website.

However, it is of some concern that the children are harbouring feelings of resentment against their father. Insecurities about parentage leads to low self esteem, and weakened attachments - ultimately increasing the likelihood of dysfunctional relationships in adulthood, teenage pregnancy, emotional ill-health etc. You and your wife cannot make the father alter his behaviour but it would be very big of you both to try to support the relationships the best you can for the benefit of the children.

[img] Just a side thought, tell your littlins to click on Tools then Delete Drowsing history and then reboot when thy use his computer.Thisd will clear everything they has looked at

Good luck

Ian:)