How can I make ends meet?

Hello, I am new to this website and found some good advice so far. My marriage broke down after 12 years, I have a 2 year old child and I am the respondent in the divorce. Our marriage started with a big fat lie about his debts right from the start and had to take ownership of his debts too.I was so young and naive back then and didn''t know the repercussions that will later have on me.
All his debts have been remortgaged. Should this be taken into consideration when we do the financial settlement?
I gave up on my career to look after my child and I currently work part time. My husband puts a lot of pressure on me to go back full time so I can afford a house but I am not willing to do that until little one gets to school age. He is on very high salary where I am not( he earns 6 x more than I do).

After childcare vouchers are deducted from my salary I am left with 550 pounds in hand.
From this I have to pay for fuel, insurances, mobile phone, fees for solicitors,basically anything that has to do with me. He agreed to pay the bills and mortgage, food and some of childcare. I also contributed 130 pounds into joint account last month. He says I am not contributing to the budget of the household.
As he denied me access to my own salary that has been paid 100% into joint account for the whole marriage for me to be able to pay solicitors fees I had to set up a new bank account. He went mad but I had no choice but to do so.

I am currently off sick with stress because I am trying to juggle motherhood, work and divorce plus of the fact we just agreed on an offer for the house and in a few weeks time my child and I will have to find suitable accommodation (1 bed flat perhaps?).
He put a lot of pressure on me to sell the house at a certain price which in the end sold to the near price. A lot of bullying that I have received and he is taking advantage of the fact that I do not know the law in this country nor my rights.

He thinks being a lone parent gives you free this and that and you will have plenty of help from the government as he is not agreeing to pay spousal maintenance but only child maintenance.
I hit my head on a brick wall from the start as I was on phone to Jobcentre to see if I am eligible for anything and because I didn''t give the right answers(they are not allowed to advise you what to answer)I have been denied any help.
I went to CAB a while ago and they told me that if i rent a property I might be eligible for housing benefits.When I phoned the council about this they said I wont be eligible unless I am on income support. To be able to get income support I have to work 16 hrs or less and I am actually working more.I also shouldn''t have any savings of more than 16K.
Well after our house is sold we have an equity that even if is split 50/50 will be more than that but I am planning to use that as a deposit for a house and rent for a while until I find the right house to buy.
I have applied for child and working tax credits as a single person and should get them in a few weeks time I have been told. But I found out that because my husband got a high paid job last year and although he let them know straight away we have been overpaid anyway by the amount of the TC awarded to that time(2k).Who would be liable to pay this back, my husband or I? Or both? Only asking because of the different earning capacity.

I am looking for a 1 bed house at the moment as this is all I can afford if that and have inquired today for the first time(never rented before) and is all new to me...to be told that they only accept tenants that are in full time employment. Is this a general criteria? And why all landlord are running away from housing benefits?
I have never claimed any benefit in my life and I don''t know the system.
And if I do I am not planning to stay on them too long.

I am so disheartened facing a bleak future for me and my child with no support from my family as they are all very far away living in a different country.I have very little friends and their help is limited. Also my husband took away our child''s passport as he is fearing I might leave UK. Things in our marriage haven''t been great for a very long time and I could have gone a long time ago if I wanted to but I decided to stay for the sake or my child.Do you think he is abusing the situation?
He is controlling and manipulative and I wished I known that before I married him. I''d wished I''d never left my family and friends back home to be with such a person that changes his stories every day.

Hi and welcome.

"he doesn''t agree to spousal maintenance"....he doesn''t get to agree. Depending on the length of marriage and other factors that more experienced wikis know better, spousal maintenance gets agreed or imposed by the court at a fair level.

You say you feel you don''t know the laws in this country. Give a call to your consulate, they very often have a free service for advice, might even have a legal aid service.

((())))

Hold on to the thought you won''t have to live in the property together for too much longer.

Some family solicitors offer a first free half hour appointment . Although you won''t get much in the way of advice it is possible you might be able to claim your costs for legal services if you cannot raise the funds to pay a solicitor, and your husband has available cash. The family law organisation, Resolution, has a database of solicitors to help you find one local to you.

In England & Wales assets aren''t necessarily shared 50:50. There is a checklist of factors in s25 Matrimonial Causes Act 1989 that have to be taken into account and the priority is the welfare of children, in particular meeting their needs for housing. The needs of the spouses are also a factor which often comes near the top of the list. If your husband has more income than you he can raise a larger mortgage and if your child lives with you most of the time you will need a bigger home. Both those reasons can justify a larger share of assets in your favour.

If there is a discrepancy in your incomes and you struggle financially you may have a case to claim interim maintenance from your husband. Each case depends on the particular facts and you really do need advice from a solicitor if at all possible so you know where you stand and what options there are in your circumstances.

Spousal maintenance is awarded if the recipient is in need and the payer has enough available income to pay. Depends on age, your ability to work, length of marriage etc... Is your stbx paying child maintenance? Where do you live at the moment ? Can you not stay there? If he is a high wage earner could you apply for maintenance pending suit? Which is a temporary maintenance payment until the divorce is finalised.
You need to get some legal advice - talk to citizens advice they could help you with what benefits are available.
Hope you get the help you need.

Please sort out your pay ang have it paid into
A soul account
It''s easy to do

Miracle,

I have been asked by a very experienced poster on this site to have a look at your case and make recommendations.

However most of the information you need has been set out with admirable clarity by Fiona in her post.

We can tell you what to do but on this forum we cannot do it for you.

I concur with the advice to apply for Maintenance pending suit ( interim maintenance ).

The fact that you have a child puts you in a very strong position when it comes to housing, because the needs of the child will take priority. Put crudely, your husband is the child''s father and must support him until adulthood.

Your husband may not want to pay spousal maintenance ( I never came across anyone who did ) but if he is a high earner it is a virtual certainty that he will have to, and for quite a long time.

As regards tax credits, and benefits generally, the problem may be that your husband''s salary is such that you are at present disqualified if you are living together as a couple. However when you are living independently this will be reviewed.

This is a principle which applies to all benefits and you can ask a CAB for a '' what if '' calculation, ie what would your benefits be once you are divorced ?

You asked about landlords. Well, for obvious reasons they need to be satisfied that the prospective tenant can pay the rent ! There is no law that landlords can''t accept tenants on housing benefit, but many landlords will not, for a number of purely pragmatic reasons.

But I''m afraid that wiki cannot do it for you. Wiki does offer a solicitor service at a reasonable price. There is a great deal of information on this site about how to go about representing yourself, but I know that this is definitely difficult for anyone who is not a British national.

However, can I refer you to three articles I wrote which were designed to give you the basic information you need in what is hopefully a way which is easy to understand.

These are, firstly, an article about what to do in the early stages of a divorce.

The second is an article about housing options following separation.

The third is about spousal maintenance.

You should be able to find these articles by clicking TOOLS followed by RESOURCE LIBRARY.

If you read these you should at least be better informed.

But to conclude : with a wealthy husband, you have a strong case for spousal AND child support and a settlement that should take care of your housing needs.

That is all I can say, other than to wish you the best of luck.

LMM

Hi, thank you all for your kind advice.
First of all I have to mentioned that I did opened a new bank account for my salary to be paid into and that''s what it pissed of husband because I didn''t talk to him about it.
I also appointed a solicitor that works with aid, met her face to face once and emailed her several times with the issues that I have and also spoken to her on the phone. She did say that until I get the financial disclosure ready she can''t really advise on what I am entitled to as yet.
My husband doesn''t pay child maintenance as he still lives in the matrimonial house we have now sold and the completion should be done in cca 8 weeks.
If he still lives in the house and contributes to the household for majority of bills, mortgage,food and some childcare is this not classed as paying maintenance?
I suppose I am grateful he pays all these and in the end it balances out with not paying child maintenance.

I am still living in the matrimonial house with my child and ...him. I can''t afford to keep the house, is an expensive property that interest only mortgage cost over 800 pounds and now we sold it anyway. Something slightly smaller and cheaper will suit me just fine.
Catwoman thank you for advising me about maintenance pending suit, I thought I have to wait until we are divorced to request this.
I will speak to my solicitor about this and also the fact it seems impossible for me to even rent a small house on my own without being full time.

Fiona I have had couple free 30 mins appointment with 2 different solicitors and for another one I had to pay 100 pounds for 1 hour to get some advice.
When you split the assets given the fact that the child will be mainly with me would his debts that he had before marriage and been brought into the marriage be taken into consideration?
He thinks it shouldn''t as it has been a long time ago but I think it should as been remortgaged on the house and also for the past 4 yrs we only paid interest only on the mortgage.
I just quickly whizzed through the interim maintenance and it looks that it can be very expensive to apply. Any idea of the costs involved?
Should he help me set up a home in a rented property like paying the deposit and first month rent or just the deposit?